A mess of Marriages
by EvangelineG
Summary: Postwar Marriage law. Hermione and Severus begin to have feelings for one another but everything becomes derailed when the marriage law comes in. Rated m for future language and adult situations
1. a connection

Disclaimer: I'm but a lowly fanfiction dabbler. I own nothing from Harry Potter.

Author's not: Like most people on here, I hate the obligatory author's notes too so I'll try to keep it brief. I wanted this to be funny and sweet. There might be some sexual content and bad language so that should explain the rating. This is au and I have brought people back from the dead but things shouldn't be TOO au. I wanted Hermione and Severus to act as themselves (oc) but everyone perceives them differently so this is just my opinion of how they would be in this time after the war. Draco Malfoy and the way Hermione interacts with him is ooc. Sorry for all the explanations but I thought it would be best to say all this before I get attacked in reviews. Like I said, I hate ANs so this will be there won't be anymore in the following chapters (unless I do something horribly wrong and need to beg forgiveness). Also, this chapter has little dialogue and a lot of background info. I hate that but it felt somewhat necessary. The next chapters should just be moving this story along. I hope you like it!

Chapter one:

Hermione:

The war was over and Hermione had finished her seventh year without the company of her two closest friends. Ron and Harry had both decided not to go back to Hogwarts and even though she missed them she understood both of their reasoning. Hogwarts had changed. And it was true what people said, you can never really go home again.

Immediately after she graduated, well after the summer break, she came back on as Madam Poppy Pomfrey's apprentice. She was able to go to school for healing during Hogwarts' intermission and chose to go with Poppy for her internship. It was already proving to be an outstanding work relationship. They were already familiar –not only because Hermione had been a student there but because of how dangerous her life had been, she frequented the hospital wing both as a patient and a guest. Poppy knew that Hermione was dedicated and only expected the best performance from her, which Hermione was thankful.

No matter how amicable the relationship was, Hermione did have many doubts. She wasn't sure if she wanted to commit herself to a lifetime as a healer. She had many passions. Wasn't that always the problem? When you can excel in everything it's impossible to pick anything.

She was also afraid that she was just hiding at Hogwarts. It had changed but it would always be home to her. She often worried if she was just trying to stay where she felt safe. Being 'Potter's 'brainy sidekick' as The Quibbler, or even less favorably 'Harry's ex-lover' as the Dailey Prophet once carelessly addressed her, she had unfortunately gained some public attention. Public attention wasn't necessarily a bad thing but she would have rather had it been for being 'the brightest witch of her age' than anything else.

She could just be Hermione Granger at Hogwarts but she didn't like to think she sought sanctuary there like some coward. Everywhere else people looked at her like she had reached her peak helping defeat Voldemort and now she was just some useless girl with bad hair.

_No. You can't start thinking about all that stuff. Do you want to have another anxiety attack? No? Okay then, shut up. Stop having some early-life-crisis and get dressed! _

Hermione asked Albus if she could join the teachers and first years in the Great Hall tonight. She wanted to see the sorting hat and the eager first years. She imagined them coming into Hogwarts now. They would be greeted by Hagrid soon. It all put butterflies into her tummy and everything else didn't seem so important.

Hermione battled between wearing her dark maroon nurse robes and her regular clothes. It was a ceremony and something that she thought was important so she couldn't wear her muggle clothes. She didn't want to be seen as a student even though her best-friend, Ginny, was coming to finish her seventh year as such. Ultimately she decided to wear a dark grey tweed dress and robe, much in the same fashion as Poppy and set her curly hair into a nice, manageable bun at the back of her head.

She saw Poppy as they entered the great hall and felt reassured by her approving tight, quick smile and nod. Hermione exhaled, feeling like her place and appearance had all been validated because of that one slight gesture. Would she ever stop needing other's approval?

Hermione sat at the end of the table and Severus Snape bestowed upon her one of his familiar scowls. She assumed that he liked to sit aloof on the edge of the table but it wouldn't be right for her to be separating him from the rest of the teachers and she decided that if he didn't take that as a sign of respect, that was his own problem. She only smiled back and wondered if he was going to be so bold as to ask her to move –she wouldn't have been surprised. Instead, he sat down next to her.

He smelt like the potions lab, he always did even though that smell varied depending on what he was working on. Right now it was pleasant and earthy smell with a hint of something bitter-sweet. Healing potions?

She looked at him, only a faint purplish part of his scar showed on his neck. It wasn't the first time she had seen him since the war. She had visited him in the hospital once and they spoke easily at Order meetings. He had even been one of the first people to greet her when she arrived back at Hogwarts but she hadn't seen the wound before.

"Miss Granger." Severus said with some amount of amusement. "You look as excited as the first years."

She felt herself smile even though she knew he was teasing her. "Laugh at me all you want, Professor. I am excited. Tonight their going to meet their new families."

The scoff was audible but not as malicious as the ones she was used to as a student. She thought Severus looked better somehow or at least less severe but decided that her evaluation of his appearance had to be greatly influenced by her opinion of him. It seemed that his features, the same ones that she had considered so unattractive before changed into something that could be appreciated as handsome and elegant, yet harsh. Their age gap, which seemed to be an ocean between them when she was a child, grew smaller every-day. She looked forward to seeing him even though most of their conversations were brief. He was intelligent and never really said what one expected of him. His unpredictability had only intensified after the war had settled but now it seemed to complement his wit.

The students were all looking around at the candles and the starlit ceiling. Hermione watched their sweet, impressed faces and remembered how she had felt the first time she had walked into the Great Hall. The ceiling had been so much more than what she had imagined when she about it.

"You might want to close your mouth, Miss Granger." Severus said, leaning over to her. She smiled at him a little with a slight chastising glint to her eye.

"Is this better?" Hermione asked in her best Snape-like drawl and crossed her arms over her chest, trying to look bored as she watched a chubby little boy approach the stool and hat. She turned to Severus with an arched brow and he smirked briefly, nodded once and looked away. "It's just exciting. I remember being down there."

"It's predictable." Severus said.

When she realized that was all the response she would receive she looked at him again with a prompting expression. Severus sighed a little, as if having a conversation with her was quite a task and leaned closer to her again. He definitely smelt like healing potions.

He lifted his hand and pointed at a small girl with black hair and green eyes. The girl noticed and paled –Severus either didn't notice the reaction or didn't care but Hermione quickly set her hand on top of Severus' arm, lightly pushing it back down to the table and turned into him to whisper, "It's rude to point. You'll scare her."

Severus rolled his eyes but didn't lift his arm again. Hermione should remember that it was his intention to frighten the students. "She'll be in Ravenclaw. The one to her left with the hair problem, she'll will be in Hufflepuff. The one next to her, the one with the horrible chin, he'll be a Gryffindor. The fat one that's biting his nails -Gryffindor-"

"He has Hufflepuff written all over him." Hermione interjected. Severus looked at her disapprovingly.

"Earlier, I saw that one try to resolve a disagreement between two siblings –neither were his friends. Bravery, assuming his help is needed, a selfrighteous attitude, weak chin and horrible self-discipline. Gryffindor."

"I forgot all Gryffindor's have weak chins." Hermione said teasingly but actually felt a slight twinge of insecurity when he stared at her chin for a moment before looking away again.

"Do you want to make a bet –about the boy? Quickly, they're getting close to discovering he's a Gryffindor." Severus asked in his bored tone.

"Alright." Hermione said. "If I win you have to brew Madam Pomfrey's healing potions for the rest of the year."

"And if you're wrong you'll be teaching my first year potions class on Mondays." Severus said and Hermione nodded. She assumed he had to know that was more of a compliment to her than anything else.

"Ravenclaw!" The hat shouted on top of the black-haired girl. Hermione didn't have to look at Severus to know he had a smug expression. Her competitive side was already pushing its way out.

The next to approach the hat was the girl with -as Severus bluntly put it- 'the hair problem'. The poor thing did have worse hair than Hermione had. She'd have to remember to seek the girl out and give her a recipe to a good leave in conditioner. The shared flaw between them made her immediately like the girl. And then the hat shouted, "Huffflepuff!"

Hermione looked suspiciously at Severus but then back down to the children. The boy with the 'horrible chin' whose chin actually looked perfectly normal in every aspect was next. The hat wriggled a little and then shouted, "Gryffindor!"

"What did I say about that mouth, Miss Granger?" Severus whispered. Hermione closed her lips again after recovering for her slight gasp. "When you teach the first years you'll have to look more focused."

She wanted to have a witty retort but only smiled a little a narrowed her eyes at him before looking back to the one they had bet on. The hat settled on his head with a huff and the boy kept smiling, a little more nervously than before. Hermione was leaning farther toward the table and she thought Severus was too.

"Slytherin!" The hat declared and Hermione had to keep herself from bursting into a fit of laughter at Severus' expression. She did set her hand on his arm, maybe at first to offer some comfort to his bewilderment but then only managed to giggle quite a bit.

"Will you two stop?" McGonagall said looking past Severus at Hermione and then back to him. Hermione –too used to being scolded by teachers- quickly withdrew her hand and regained some composure. Severus looked completely normal, obviously unaffected by being yelled at by his fellow professor.

"I suppose I'll fill you in on the syllabus at a later time, Miss Granger." Severus said.

"But…" Hermione's voice was still a little put out by the stifled laughter. "You were wrong."

"Indeed, however my bet was if _you_ were wrong, if you recall. Are you not going to live up to your word?" Some humor had returned to his voice but he was still all the appearances of sulkiness.

"Well, I guess I should know better than to make bets with Slytherin." Hermione tried not to let on to how excited she was to teach that class.

The feast followed and Hermione sought out Poppy so she could explain why she had to teach a potions class on Mondays.

"Well." Poppy said after being coaxed out of disappointment by Hermione promising to make up for it on the weekends. "I suppose this will teach you to play games with Slytherins in the future?"

"Yes." Hermione sighed. She did have to pretend like she was incredibly disappointed to Poppy but she was excited to teach and work with potions even if it was just first year level. Maybe that would make it even better. Her mind started racing with all the things she wanted to do and wondered how much of it Severus would allow.

"I heard you you're trying to steal my assistant?" Poppy said and Hermione turned to see Severus sitting on down at the opposite side of the table.

"Then you must have also heard that I was partially successful." Severus said refilling his goblet and looking away down the table, as if there were some other conversation he was more interested in. "And it's only the first day. If you're not careful she might be completely stolen by the end of the week."

No one noticed Hermione blush and mess with her food.

In the future Hermione would look back and wonder when exactly everything had fallen into place. She might think that it was when she proposed, or before that when she punched Draco Malfoy in the face for the second time. She would grow to believe it was when Ginny ran into her room with tears flowing down her face and a letter held tightly in her hands but what changed everything had happened right in this memory.

It was when Severus turned and smirked and they silently acknowledged that both of them had only been trying to ensure seeing more of the other.


	2. an irritation

Chapter two

Severus left the feast wondering why he had felt compelled to talk to Granger. _Because she stole my seat. _But the interaction after the initial intrusion wasn't unpleasant. It had been quite some time since he had been annoyed by her. And quite some time since he noticed that she was growing into an attractive young woman. _Did she become less annoying because he thought she was attractive? _No. She was definitely less annoying.

He remembered the first day of school last year. It had been derailed by Albus thinking they needed to 'make way' before the students could move on. Severus had thought that this was ridiculous. Obviously the children had all been affected by the war, everyone had been but shouldn't their comfort be their parent's responsibility? Was one speech from the headmaster of their school really going to change anything?

His opinion changed fairly early on in the assembly. It seemed that everyone had entered the great hall holding their breath and at some point they collectively released it. Perhaps they all needed to acknowledge what had happened before they could move on. When would he learn to stop second guessing Albus' decisions? _When he started to act less insane._

Minerva had been standing beside Severus when the assembly had commenced but moved at some point to let Miss Granger stand between them.

_Why was she standing with the teachers? She's still a student, even if she wouldn't be in any of my classes. Why was she standing with us? Does the special treatment of Gryffindors know no bounds? _

He had still been thinking all sorts of unkind things about the present third part to the Golden trio when Albus addressed Granger. It was brief and he couldn't remember the praising words Albus had said about her part in the war. Severus had turned to look down at her reaction, as did most of the students.

From the corner of his eye he assessed that she was as uncomfortable as he was. Her shoulders were squared and she kept a confident gaze out at the crowd. It was her challenging stance. She always made herself look as confident as she wanted to feel when she was at her most vulnerable. He had been privy to that statuesque pose quite a few times and usually because he was the source of her frustration.

'Professor Snape, I'm sure most of you are already aware of his involvement in the war. We are lucky to have him here.' Albus had said.

The last statement was more of a confirmation to the students. There were still many people that didn't trust him and still don't. Severus held his breath, waiting for Albus to move on and not knowing why he paused. _Does he expect me to say something?_ He had wondered anxiously.

And then Granger started clapping beside him. He looked down at her again. She was obviously nervous but looked relieved when Minerva, and then everyone else, began clapping with her as well. That brought the signal for Albus to move on. Severus couldn't help but feel that she had saved him somehow and groaned inwardly. _Insufferable girl._

He had been concerned that she was under some horrible disillusion that because they fought on the same side they were… friends? He waited for her to extend some familiar attitude toward him. He had many choice words ready to put her back in her place but the rest of the year played out without incident. For that, he began to consider her less ridiculous than most of the other people around him. He even went so far as to talk to her at a few of the order meetings. She was always respectful and courteous.

This year she had been up with them again –sitting in his seat no less. He had glared at the miniature woman with the intention of helping her realize she made a mistake and promptly removing her persons from _his _chair. His glare was met with her sitting up taller and he decided to sit beside her. Why he engaged in conversation was beyond him.

_Would_ _she be eating at the head table as well?_ The thought had been nothing more than a sarcastic muse but then it occurred to him that she probably would. _No she wouldn't, she's not a professor._ It would be unfortunate if she did. And now after he had been overly chatty she might take that as some encouragement to seek him out. Would she try to sit next to him again or steal his seat?

"Professor Snape." Poppy called as he was making his way down the hall. He knew this was coming but he had expected her to attack him later on in the week. "We need to discuss your arrangement with Miss Granger."

He suspected that she waited until the feast was coming to a close in hopes of finding him inebriated and thus easier to haggle with. Since he his near death experience had started drinking more often as it dulled the pain he felt constantly vibrating through the healed wound. He unconsciously rubbed the low side of his neck.

Unfortunately for Poppy he was a stubborn man when he was in one of these rare intoxicated moods. He decided to be as difficult as possible without pushing so far as to have her shut down the entire arrangement. The fact that they both knew she could do that, definitely gave her the upper hand. But he had won Granger fair and square… More or less and wasn't ready to hand her over easily.

"Alright. Miss Granger agreed to teach one class of first years for the rest of the year. The morning class on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays." Severus aid very matter-of-factly.

"She said it was the Monday class in the morning." Poppy claimed. Had he said that? He had thought he had tricked her into taking over one of his first year classes entirely. She had distracted him with her bright smile and insane gesture of touching his arm. Twice. What was the agreement they made? He decided to be more careful in their future dealings.

"She's supposed to take over a first year class, Poppy, surely you know they meet more than once a week." Severus turned to continue the route to the dungeons but Poppy cleared her throat and out of some memory of fearing her when he was a student he turned back around.

"Albus gave his consent for her to teach a potions class?" Poppy asked, slightly exasperated. She had a slight pink tint to her cheeks and he wondered if she was in her cups as well. That could work in his favor.

"Obviously." _Not_. But gaining consent from the headmaster hadn't completely escaped him, though he was sure Albus wouldn't disapprove. Granger was, after all, one of his pet Gryffindors.

"I don't think I can spare her for three days a week for the rest of the year." There was a slight huff in her tone.

"It will be three _hours _out of the week, not days and you've gone decades without her assistance. I don't think she's spoiled you so entirely that-"

"Perhaps it's not a good idea to distract Miss Granger from her academic obligations over a silly bet."

"Teaching a potions class will make her more attractive to future employers. Surely you wouldn't deprive her of the opportunity to enhance her education and future?"

"You can have her for whichever class you see fit _for the first term_. I can't spare her for the whole year." Poppy said and Severus was going to argue. He wondered why he was so adamant in his fight for Miss Granger but dismissed it. He was competitive, she could hold up a used tissue and if she said he couldn't have it he'd argue 'til said tissue was in his possession. "And it will have to be in the afternoon."

"No. The agreement was made to relieve me from a morning class –the first years."

"How unfortunate." Poppy sighed. "I think Miss Granger had been secretly looking forward to this experience and now she'll be so disappointed."

Damn Poppy. "The afternoon, then. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, from three to four. That's my fifth year students."

"Do you think she'll be able to teach that material?"

Severus wondered if he should say no and continue to fight for an extra hour of sleep in the morning but decided against it. "I would be more concerned about locking her in a room with a class full of hormonal dunderheads three times a week than the material. She'll do fine. Good evening, Madam Pomfrey."

"Good evening, Professor Snape." Poppy was smiling and he left her feeling like she had won.

Severus retired to the dungeons. He settled himself in his sitting room and wondered why he was thinking back on his exchange with the annoying Miss Granger and the odd sensation he had felt when she had giggled and touched his arm.

Hermione had been enjoying the feast but her mind was occupied with lesson plans. She didn't want to get her hopes up. The fact that he was letting her teach a class at all was amazing. Even if she had to do everything exactly the way he asked it was still a rare opportunity. She wondered why he was being so kind and decided not to question it.

But the time! The timing was awful. Monday was tomorrow! Did he want her to teach tomorrow's morning class? She'd probably start next week. Suddenly she felt like she was reliving so many nightmares of being unprepared. She couldn't start the year off like this. Even though she knew the material she still needed to know what exactly he wanted her to cover. Even if he gave her the curriculum she still needed to be familiar with it.

Was this some horrible Snape joke? But she hadn't done anything awful to him in a long time. They made it through her entire seventh year without any offenses made on either side. And at the Order meetings –that were becoming fewer and fewer- they talked almost kindly to one another.

"Hey." Ginny said. She had walked beside Hermione and gave her a hug.

"Ginny! I'm so happy to see you." Hermione was genuinely happy to see her friend. Things had been awkward after Hermione and Ron broke up –which almost directly led to Harry and Ginny breaking up- but they had worked through most of that last year. It seemed this year was all about moving forward.

"Do you want to meet up at the Three Broomsticks tomorrow?" Ginny asked. "I kind of needed to talk to you."

"Alright. Are you going to bed? I could walk you." Hermione said as they started making their way out of the great hall. She hadn't seen Ginny for most of the summer but it still felt normal to walk with her through the halls to the Gryffindor tower.

"I actually needed to talk to you too, and my news can't wait." Hermione said and then went into to detail about her situation with Severus.

"You need to go talk to him. If you don't show up tomorrow he'll probably sack the whole thing." Ginny looked at Hermione seriously. "For a normal person that wouldn't be a bad thing. Why do you want to teach his class?"

"Are you serious? It's an amazing opportunity."

"But it's Snape, Mione. I try to just stay under his radar. The first time something goes wrong he's going to lose it."

Hermione frowned. "He's not that awful." But now she was feeling nervous. _No, you can handle this. It's just one class. _

"I was going to wait 'til we were at three broomsticks to tell you but," Ginny said as they walked into the Gryffindor common room. She glanced around but it was clear no one else was within earshot. "I got my summons from the ministry… less than a month to find a husband before they find a suitable one for me."

"Ginevra! You should have told me instead of letting me ramble on about all that nonsense." Hermione scolded. While she spoke her mind was racing, trying to think of some loophole. She had known what was happening with the ministry trying to attach witches and wizards in marriage but until today it hadn't directly affected anyone she knew. It was always a distant thought but she didn't think of it as something that could actually happen to her or any of her friends… "It's barbaric. Ridiculous! How can they do this?"

Ginny just kind of shrugged. After the few outbursts Hermione wasn't sure what to say. She had a few ideas of what she wanted to say. _Tell Harry! _But that was the name being hung in the air that neither girl wanted to say. Last year had been so difficult and by some miracle Ginny and Hermione were able to salvage their friendship. The breakups were very hard on the close group of friends.

"I just thought… It would have been Dean or…"

Hermione pulled her into a hug because she didn't know what else to do. "This is stupid. Maybe I could talk to him-"

"No!" Ginny pulled back to look at Hermione's face.

"Just to explain the situation-"

"No." Ginny shook her head. "I wouldn't want Harry to feel obligated just because of this."

Hermione couldn't believe how strong Ginny was. She looked sad but she was holding it together. Most girls her age would be hysterical. Hermione would. She felt hysterical for Ginny. It wasn't fair.

"I need to go to sleep." Ginny said with a weak smile and shook her head as if to clear the previous conversation. "Three broomsticks? Tomorrow?"

"Yes, of course." Hermione squeezed Ginny's hand and felt a little reluctant to just let her friend walk off to be alone.

Hermione walked down the halls thinking very different thoughts than she had just been previously consumed with. Her room was a small, modest space, just big enough for her and Crookshanks. It was just a short walk from the hospital wing but separated from it. It felt strange to be so far from the Gryffindor rooms but having a private bathroom was definitely an upgrade.

She sat down at her desk to write to Harry and drew a blank. She had to try and help Ginny. She felt responsible for them not being together. If Ron hadn't been so incredibly impossible when they broke up, Harry would have still been his friend. And then it wouldn't have been so awkward for Ginny. Hermione couldn't imagine having to choose between her brother and a boyfriend. She'd probably choose family –as did Ginny even though Hermione knew it had been hard on her.

All of it had made her want to distance herself from everyone involved. She had immersed herself in school, taking as many classes as she could over the summer break. Last year had been such a mess in her personal life and quite a success for her academically. The only people she had talked to socially were Ginny, Minerva, and Draco Malfoy. The last –she was well aware- was an unlikely alliance but it was formed all the same. It happened suddenly after an order meeting. She agreed to get drinks with a few people including Malfoy and they actually had some decent conversation.

She sighed and looked at the blank parchment as Crookshanks walked across the table and hit her in the face with his tail.

_Dear Harry, _

_I'm going to get to the point because I'm in a mood and you know how that goes. _

_Ginny got her summons from the ministry and has one month to get married before they find a_ 'suitable' _spouse for her. Please stop being an arse. _

_I miss and love you; perhaps I should have led with that? Now, please cease all bastardary and marry her. I know you love her. You do still love her, don't you? Stop being an arse! Imagine, she could be forced to marry anyone. Anyone! And she didn't ask me to talk to you. This is just classic Mione-meddling. Ginny would –and will probably- be mortified if –and when- she finds out that I wrote you this._

_I can't help but feel responsible for everything getting as messed up as it is. I can't talk to her about it so I'm yelling at you. Ron and I are friends now so there's no reason for you to keep ignoring Ginny. I don't expect you to run out and make up with Ron but Ginny isn't to blame. Please, if you have any decency, marry her. She was so distraught. This is all so unfair. I love you both so much, Ron too. No matter what, we should all always be close. What's happened? After everything, life is too short._

_Be happy I didn't send this via howler. I thought about it but decided that I wanted you to have the option to reread this many times, or at least until the words could sink into that thick head. If you were here I'd hit you. And maybe hex you as well. _

_I'll send a sweet letter later, as I have many things to tell you –guess who's teaching a bunch of impressionable first years? Professor Snape said I could teach one class! Though I think it's only so he can sleep in…- but I don't think this letter is right for all the normal etiquette of catching up. Probably because I've called you an arse?_

_I love you. Please write me back soon. I promise to behave in future correspondence. _

_Moody -and meddling- Mione_

She folded up the letter with the intention of taking it straight to the owlery before she could come to her senses. She felt a bubble of stress that had been straining her chest pop. Harry would do the right thing, she knew it. He loved Ginny. It was something that nearly irritated her when she was still with Ron. She just wished Ron would look at her in the admiring, all consumed way Harry looked at Ginny.

She stood with determination and decided to go to the owlery, then to Severus' office –he probably wouldn't be there but she could at least leave a note asking to have an appointment with him, and then she'd go to the library and find books for first year potions. Sleep was probably not on the agenda for this evening since there were about a million things running through her mind.

Severus heard noises in the classroom and if he hadn't been slightly drunk he would have noticed someone had gone in there. He was going to take a hundred points from whichever house the intruder belonged to. Unless it was Minerva because he couldn't discipline her for when she snuck into his quarters, which had actually happened on occasion but mostly when she was a cat.

He pushed the door from his private quarters and walked into his office. He grimaced at the mess he still hadn't organized and walked into his classroom.

Miss Granger was slightly bent over his desk with her back arched. She had turned her head slightly and her large brown eyes looked surprised before smiling at him.

"You're still up –good.I was writing you a note. I wanted to ask about tomorrow –did you want me to come in for tomorrow's class?" She was still wearing that seemingly modest grey tweed dress and sensible flat black shoes. _'Seemingly modest'? It was modest, it was buttoned up to the collar and the hem ended below her knees but it looked more form fitting than regular robes. It was the same type of dress Poppy wore. Did Poppy look like that? No, gross- _"Sir?"

"You'll come in this Wednesday, Thursday and Friday from three to four." Severus moved to the bookshelf across the room and started looking for the two texts she'd need. "I have a curriculum," Severus carried the books in his arms and set them in front of her on the desk. She wasn't wearing perfume but she smelt reminiscent of mint and maybe cinnamon? The second smell was sweet and heavy but with a hint of something harsh and spicy. It was definitely cinnamon. "You can use it as a guide since I'm sure you'll want to make your own changes, even though this method has worked for years." Severus pulled a copy of the fifth year curriculum out of one of the drawers from his desk. He was surprised it was there since most of everything he kept filed in his office. He set it on top of the books she was looking down at. "What is it, Miss Granger?"

One of her long, pale fingers tapped the top book. "This is the fifth year text?"

"How very perceptive you are. You'll be teaching the fifth year students instead. Will this be a problem?"

"No, sir." She beamed up at him as if this were some extreme gift. He shifted, feeling slightly -no, incredibly uncomfortable.

"Severus."

"Pardon?"

"If you're going to be working with the staff it's acceptable for you to call me Severus when we're not with the students, Hermione." _Why? Why did he say that? _She shifted her weight and one of her hips was sticking out farther, demonstrating the curve of her thin waist. "Well, you should go. You have tonight and tomorrow to prepare yourself for the dunderheads."

Then, a physical interpretation of awkwardness occurred between the two of them. Hermione was directly in his path to walk back through his office and he was in hers to walk out of the classroom. Simultaneously they both moved to step around the other and were again blocking each other's path. Immediately they both moved in the opposite direction and ended up repeating what just happened.

Hermione laughed as she reached out her hand, placed it on his arm to keep him in place and moved around him. _Three times. She had the audacity to touch me three times in one evening?_

Before he knew how to properly insult her brash behavior she was opening the door to his class with books and papers cradled in her long thin arms.

"Good night, Severus. Thank you." And then the overly physically familiar, miniature woman was out of his presence.

'Good night'? Was it a good night? He didn't feel good or comfortable but the feeling wasn't entirely… not good.No, he was incredibly irritated. Obviously. And standing in his empty dim-lit classroom staring at a closed door, not knowing exactly what he was doing.


	3. A flirtation

**AN: Let me know what you think. Thank you so much for the hits, story alerts, favorites, and reviews! It really makes my day! I promise I'm gonna get into the marriage law stuff next chapter. I just had to get everyone situated. **

**Severus:**

The day after Severus had made his deal with Hermione he waited to approach Albus until breakfast. He had hoped that he wouldn't have to sit next to Miss Granger when he explained the situation to the headmaster. The professors all sat and Severus noticed she wasn't there, as he had previously suspected she wouldn't be. He instinctively looked down at the Gryffindor table and in her normal space Ginevra Weasley was sitting in front of an untouched plate of food. The girl looked back at him and he scowled at her until she turned back around. So Hermione ate at a separate time. Or the same time in a separate location.

Severus turned to Albus, hoping that his relaxed approach would lead Albus to feel like the arrangement with Hermione was equally relaxed and unimportant. If he casually mentioned that she would be leading one of his classes then it might not seem… odd. Other teachers often had students take on classes. Though, most of those students were the teacher's assistants or apprentices.

"I've decided to take Miss Granger on as an assistant." Severus said and refilled his cup.

"Oh. I had been under the impression that she was Poppy's assistant." Albus said. He stroked his beard. "But that may be the right term since she's helping with your class."

"You've already been informed, then." Severus said. If Poppy had already approached Dumbledore then by now she knew Severus had lied about already gaining permission. He grimaced. It wasn't intelligent to constantly be at odds with the person who would be responsible for saving your life if something unfortunate happened. Reconciliation with Poppy was paramount.

"I must ask a favor, though, Severus." Albus said.

"Please excuse me if I'm hesitant in my acceptance, considering the last favor you asked of me." Severus mumbled.

"Try to be kind. That's all. No one's life has been easy." Albus said.

Severus was past the point of believing that Albus said anything meaningless. He glanced at the older wizard and was only met with a twinkle and a nod before Albus went back to his food.

He knew that Hermione's parents didn't remember her and there was the war but many people lost more than she had. Her and her annoying friends were still intact. Severus felt himself sneer but he was concerned. To worry for someone else…. That could be a dangerous thing indeed.

Minerva and Albus had wondered if he was going to come back after the war. Where else was he supposed to go? It wasn't as if he needed the money but you can't do something for twenty years and then just stop. Hogwarts was also somewhat comfortable for him. He had spent his life there.

It was also conveniently accepting of his character flaws. He couldn't imagine another setting where people would excuse his bad behavior. It wouldn't be tolerated. Hogwarts, even though people generally avoided and loathed him, accepted that he was a bitter and unusually cruel person. If he left he'd be forced to improve himself.

There were things to look forward to at Hogwarts, terrifying children, which was one of his favorite past-times. And now, if he could get over the irritation he felt that she caused, he could grow to look forward to this odd friendship with Hermione. She would probably ruin it before he could fully appreciate it but it was still something to consider.

Severus went through the motions of the first day of classes but found that his thoughts often drifted back to Hermione. He thought he was going to see her at some point that day but it was a large castle and Hermione was obviously engaged with other things.

**Hermione:**

Hermione had wondered why Severus had been a little short with her in his classroom the night she took the textbooks. She tried not to worry over it even though it bothered her that he had been –what she considered- friendly at the feast just to go all Snape on her afterward. It was clear that he had been surprised to see her, startled. He probably had to hold back from saying any number of cutting things.

Hermione smiled to herself. Severus was like a dangerous, moody animal. Sometimes he reminded her of Crookshanks –though Crookshanks was her harmless, sweet little baby. But he never showed many people much affection and if you pet him the wrong way he'd swat at you. You had to approach the cat the way it wanted and it would allow you to enjoy its presence. Hermione laughed, wondering how mortified Severus would be if he knew she was drawing comparisons between him and her temperamental feline.

She wasn't able to talk to Severus until Tuesday afternoon. She had worked all day with Poppy and was surprised by how much there was to do in the hospital wing even with just a few 'sick' patients. She suspected that all but two injuries were just students trying to skip class. One day of dealing with silly excuses and fussy children made her appreciate Poppy's lack of patience that she had previously deemed unnecessary.

Hermione walked to the staffroom and felt slightly unsure on if she should knock or walk into the room. She decided that the way she carried herself today was going to set the way she would have to continue her behavior for the rest of the year. She wasn't a student so she decided to take initiative and walk in, braving being scolded for the intrusion.

She walked into the small rectangular room and saw Severus sitting in a large chair beside the fire that was illuminating most of the room. Sybill Trelawney and Filius Flitwick were sitting cattycorner from one another at a large table. She eyed them, waiting for someone to yell at her as she tried to walk confidently to Severus.

"Um… Professor Snape?" Hermione hated how meek her voice came out and cleared her throat to start again. He had said to say his given name when they weren't among students but she felt oddly guilty now that they were in front of others. "Severus, I wanted to show you what I planned to cover for the first term."

"Have a seat, Hermione." Severus said and she couldn't help but feel the mention of her name was supposed to indicate that this was still the proper arrangement.

With a more natural confidence she sat in the stiff black chair opposite him but had to turn so she was facing him and not the fire. She had a few papers in her hands, including the copy of the syllabus. Severus was looking down at it with an amused expression and she felt embarrassed that she had written so many notes over it. She didn't want to appear that she wasn't sure of herself. Ginny had been right about Severus, if he suspected things weren't going to go well he'd sack this before she could even get in the classroom.

"Your outline is thorough and I don't have any questions but I thought that you might feel more comfortable if I let you know now, what adjustments I've made instead of filling you in later. I also thought we could make some arrangement to meet and discuss the progress of each student instead of explaining their grades at the end of the term."

"Alright. What adjustments have you made?" Severus didn't seem as unfriendly as he had the last time they spoke so she continued with reassured confidence.

"Potions are already hands on. By this time the fifth year students have already learned and memorized the components of most of the potions at their level. I'd like to do more theoretical work, with hands on experiments –just how different ingredients can substitute or alter a potion." Hermione waited for him to interject. She remembered suggesting something like this when she had been a fifth year and the outcome of the conversation… well, negative twenty Gryffindor points later, they agreed to disagree. "I just thought it would give them the opportunity to become more involved and maybe raise more questions."

The light from the fire on his face made different shadows appear on his features. His long, crooked nose shadowed the right side of his face and made him look more severe than usual but he looked contemplative. She hoped he wasn't recalling their past conversation on the same subject.

"As long as you cover what they need to know by the end of the term –and any experiments are not too dangerous, I don't think it will be a problem."

"Do you want to sit in on the class tomorrow?" Hermione asked.

"Are you asking if I want to be present for the class I was able to finagle my way out of?" Severus smirked at her and creased his brow.

"Well," Hermione said and stood. "Apparently not." She smiled at him and clutched her papers to her chest. "Good evening, Severus."

"Hermione." He said and looked back down at his book.

It was strange to hear him say her name. He had said Miss Granger for so long she wouldn't have been surprised if he hadn't known what her first name was. At the same time she thought she enjoyed it, if only because it felt new and scandalous.

**Liam Frey:**

Liam Frey listened to Eric Webber prattle on about nothing as they made their way in to their potions class. Earlier Snape had chastised Eric when he –in Snape's words- 'made the entire Slytherin house' look foolish by coming unprepared to all of his classes, apparently Eric was still embarrassed.

They walked into the familiar dusty room. Hermione Granger was sitting behind Professor Snape's desk.

She had been a third year student when Liam was a first year and he had never talked to her. He knew about her though, heard about her. The mudblood that helped Harry Potter. A snooty, uptight, mudblood that thought she was better than everyone and supposedly the brightest witch of her age.

Liam sat down next to Eric at the same workstation they used last year. Eric was still mumbling about cruel and unusual punishment when he finally realized who was there. "Why's she here?"

Liam shrugged his shoulder. He was still watching her when Draco Malfoy leaned into the room. It was like some class reunion of people who had ignored him.

"Hey." Draco said to Hermione and gave a quick nod of acknowledgment to Professor Snape. "When are you done?"

"Five. Three broomsticks?" Hermione's voice was smooth and confident. Liam wondered as he kept a steady gaze on her, if the dark lord had won what would have happened to her. His thoughts went into darker places and he assumed that –had that happened- the petite girl before him wouldn't sound as confident or smile as pretty. He wondered why Draco Malfoy was trying to talk to her and assumed he had already had Hermione on her knees for him.

A girl beside Liam was smiling coyly at him. She was some Hufflepuff that had been trying unsuccessfully to flirt with him since their third year. He rolled his eyes. She was short and thin and looked like an unattractive boy. He looked back to Hermione.

Draco nodded a confirmation to Hermione and a goodbye to Professor Snape before he ducked back out of the class.

"Hello." Hermione stood from her desk and addressed the settled class. "I'm going to be teaching this class for the rest of this term."

Well, potions became much more interesting.

**Hermione:**

"Any questions?"

A chubby Slytherin boy raised his hand. She had memorized their names and was fairly sure this was Eric Webber. Hermione nodded. "Are you a teacher now? You don't look like a teacher. Not wearing the robes."

"No, I'm Madam Pomfrey's assistant." Hermione smiled. "But I am going to teach this class. So you're stuck with me three afternoons a week."

Eric raised his hand but started talking before she could give permission. "What should we call you if you aren't a Professor, Assistant nurse?"

"You can call me Miss Granger, Mr. Webber. Now turn to page 167." Hermione said opening her book to follow along even though she wouldn't need to.

"Why are you teaching if you aren't a professor?" Eric asked again without raising his hand. His friend, Liam Frey was taller and built like a professional Quidditch player but he sat with an icy stare at Hermione. She was well aware that even though the death eaters had been hauled off to Azkaban there were many followers and sympathizers that had wished Voldemort had been successful. She assumed that Liam's stare and Eric's rude tone –not to mention their status as pure-bloods and Slytherins- placed them within that group of people. The rest of the class looked happy and confused by the news that they escaped their feared Professor Snape.

"I'm assisting Professor Snape." Hermione tried not to sound irritated.

"Is-"

"Please raise your hand, Mr. Webber." Hermione said to the chubby little slytherin she was learning to dislike.

He raised his hand and gave her an extremely snarky expression with a smile of mock courtesy. Hermione waited just a second longer than necessary. Just letting him know that he could keep his hand in the air and his mouth shut until she deemed it appropriate for him to do otherwise. Slightly abusing power –something she swore to herself she wouldn't do. Well, that promise lasted for the first three minutes of her teaching career.

"Yes."

"Is it true that you fell in love with Harry Potter after he defeated-"

"No." Hermione almost scoffed but she could feel that several other students, the entire class actually was sitting a little farther forward in their seats. She sighed, assuming it was best to get it out of the way. Dumbledore had talked in the Great Hall to all the students about the war and answered questions. It had been very enlightening, even for her and it was supposed to clear the air for the students to try and move on. That was at the beginning of last year and most of the students had moved on, or at least had done the best they could. When you're young and you grew up with a war it was easy to accept it as life and move on.

The 'relationship' the Daily Prophet claimed existed between herself and Harry hadn't been mentioned at the assembly because most people knew that was rubbish and it wasn't important. She didn't think it was necessary but Harry had become somewhat of a celebrity –more than he'd already been- and it only made sense that the students were interested in his life. "Mr. Potter and I were always close friends. The Daily Prophet just tries to sell stories. Now, let's focus on today's lessons. Page 167."

"But-"

"Fifteen points from Slytherin for failure to raise your hand and follow instructions." Hermione said and was scared to glance back at Severus. She wasn't sure if he was going to reprimand her for taking house points, something she definitely didn't have the authority to do. When she did sneak a quick glance at him he was smiling down at his parchment and she felt her tummy jump. _Alright, I can take house points. _

The rest of class went as much as she had expected. She felt satisfied with everything and she silently congratulated herself for forming a better opinion of Eric Webber. She didn't want to hate any students or hold any grudges. He was Slytherin after all but definitely not death eater material. He had seemed to warm up slightly after she set those boundaries.

"I don't know why you wanted me here." Severus said as the students shuffled out. "You could have taught this class when you were a fifth year."

"I know." Hermione said boldly but only because she had been challenged by the compliment. Severus never complimented and even though she felt flattered, she couldn't help but wonder if he had only said it to see if she would deny it. "But I thought you'd feel more comfortable with the arrangement if you knew what was going on in your classroom."

"I'm glad you're concerned with my comfort. Then you'll understand why I'll have to find a reason to deduct fifteen points from Gryffindor to even us out?" He didn't smirk or smile but she could hear the humor in his tone.

"I gather you disapprove of me scolding Mr. Webber." She said while she collected her things from his desk. "I appreciate that you waited until we were alone to scowl at me for it."

"I would have taken more. He's going to be trouble." Severus said seriously. "And I'm not _scowling_."

"I like him." Hermione said, deciding it as the words came out. He looked at her with an arched eyebrow and she shrugged, putting her bag over her shoulder. "He's a Slytherin so he had to push. Once I asserted dominance he backed off."

"You make the Slytherin house sound like it's made up of territorial beasts, Hermione. How unkind."

"I don't think that would be entirely inaccurate where _some _Slytherin members were concerned." She smiled, thinking about her Crookshanks-Snape theory.

"And yet you're going to meet with one of the Slytherin legacies now. Careful, one might think you enjoy that type of company." Severus was standing still with his hands behind his back and an eyebrow arched at Hermione. His hair was so dark, completely black to match his eyes and she thought it looked attractive against his pale skin. It looked entirely different than it had against the soft glow of the fire the last time they'd spoken.

"I guess that wouldn't be inaccurate." Hermione smiled. She bit the side of her lip before turning and walking toward the door. "You have rounds tonight, I'm sure you'll find a reason to deduct those points from some harmless and unsuspecting Gryffindor."

Hermione wasn't sure why she always felt like smiling like an idiot when she had a positive exchange with Professor Snape. She just felt privileged. She felt pathetic for feeling so elated by his tolerance. It was just a rush. Every time she slightly poked fun at him or smiled, she knew she risked him snapping out at her and each time he didn't it felt like some victory. She also genuinely liked being around him.

She was happy her first day of teaching went so easily. She was happy to be in a good mood since Draco happened to stop by for a visit. She imagined he had probably come to talk to Severus but was making time for her. They hadn't had a chance to visit for over two weeks and she missed his arrogant attitude and sharp tongue. He was sneaky and harsh and manipulative and insensitive and… wait, why was she excited to see him?

There was some nostalgia about being around him and all his snarkiness. _Merlin, maybe I do seek out the company of Slytherins? _That was a terrifying thought and one she would shoo away and not think of again. If she were being honest she'd admit it. They were smart like Ravenclaws but usually had a sense of humor to match their attitude. Now that Draco wasn't a raging arse he was quite tolerable.

Hermione checked in with Poppy and then she left for the three broomsticks in the same outfit she had thought of as her 'teaching suit'. She had spent a lot of time getting ready, changing clothes. She didn't want to go overboard and try to dress like a grandma even though she wanted to appear older and sophisticated. She was just afraid anything too stuffy would make her feel like some pretend imposter. She was Hermione and she was doing this so she tried to dress as herself. She transfigured her robes into a Smuggle type of top and slacks. She wore flat black dress shoes with her beige slacks and black wool top. It was appropriate and comfortable.

Draco was sitting at a booth looking impatient while a group of sixth year girls were at the other end of the room glancing and giggling at him.

"Looks like you have a fan club." Hermione said as she sat down and received more than one nasty look from the girls.

Draco smiled at the group of girls who all visibly blushed. He could be so wicked but then he looked back at Hermione and rolled his eyes.

"You didn't tell me you were working for Severus. How did that happen?"

Hermione felt a twinge of jealousy and surprise when he called Severus by his first name. Of course he would, though. He was his godson. And she couldn't be the only one out of her peers to have been given that luxury. Again with the jealousy.

"When was I supposed to tell you? You've been busy." Hermione said and he laughed.

"We're drinking to celebrate the position." Draco said and Hermione shook her head but before she could verbally protest he added, "Then to celebrate your first day."

"No." Hermione shook her head. "I have a full shift tomorrow _before _class, with Poppy. I have to be up before four."

"So take a potion. You're drinking –at least one celebratory drink." He always seemed annoyed with her and finally –to have him stop arguing- she gave in.

One celebratory drink turned into quite a few and she started falling back into a depressed mood as she told him about Ginny's situation. That, of course led to Harry, which led to her and Ron. And then the following drinks were more why-is-everyone-so-stupid drinks than celebrating anything.

"We should have brought her out with us."

"Yeah?" Hermione was surprised. Draco had never been a fan of any of the Weasleys.

"Yeah." Draco looked like he was trying not to squint one of his eyes. "Ginny's alright –for a Weasley, or out of all the Weasles I guess, in comparison..."

"Draco Malfoy, your belligerent self is almost charming."

His scoff was not. He didn't like not having control or appearing silly. "Come on, we have to get you back to Hogwarts."

"Yes, before you turn into a pumpkin." The Cinderella joke would have been lame to a Muggle that understood it but Draco looked at her with actual concern. Hermione laughed and slightly snorted mid-giggle. She waved her hand as if to dismiss all of it and her comment. They both paid their separate tabs and shuffled out of the three broomsticks. Once she was standing on very unsure legs she realized exactly how drunk she was and felt like blaming Draco but knew it wasn't entirely his fault.

"I'm supposed to be responsible." She whined and touched her temple where she knew her hangover would be. "I'm wearing my teacher suit."

"You are responsible." Draco tried to reassure her but he looked pretty bad too. "Annoyingly responsible."

The night air was cold and sharp, making its presence known wherever it touched you. Hermione didn't pull away when Draco theatrically wrapped one of his arms around her shoulders and pulled her against the side of his body.

"I can't believe you talked me into drinking." Hermione wiped her face, trying to will herself to be less drunk. The fresh air had been helping but now she thought she needed to lie down, at least until the path stopped swooping back and forth in front of them. "I have so much I have to do."

After a while of walking out of memory they were approaching Hogwarts. She felt like she had sobered almost completely. "I think we successfully walked it off."

"Careful!" Draco tried to pull Hermione after she tripped, she spun mid-fall to catch his arm. Draco managed to get her before she fell. She giggled at her clumsiness.

"Thank you." Hermione breathed and moved but Draco wasn't letting go of her shoulders. She tried to stand up to her full height to gain some control over the situation but Draco was pushing his mouth against hers. She made some sound that was a mixture of a scared 'yelp' and an angry 'ugh'. She pressed her hands between them, against his chest and pushed him away. His lips were the last part that unattached themselves and she could see in the moonlight that he was smiling and only somewhat apologetically.

"We're drunk." Even though Hermione didn't return the kiss at all, she was willing to brush off the entire thing as an accident between the both of them. "I need to go to bed."

"Hermione." Draco caught her arm and tried to walk close to her again. She was giving him a warning look. In her drunken state she thought the look conveyed 'Please don't say anything stupid. You're supposed to be my no-drama friend. Why are you trying to ruin everything, you stupid arse?' but she didn't think he caught any of that. "I'll marry you. You don't have to worry."

"What! You-" Hermione was attacked by Draco's lips again and this time he was trying to push his tongue in her mouth. She pushed him back and punched him somewhere on the side of his face.

"Oh Merlin! I'm sorry but.." Hermione kneeled down and he looked at her with the same shocked expression as he did the first time she had punched him when they were children. He looked like the arrogant little boy again and she wondered if he was going to run off. Hermione giggled even though she was still angry and covered her mouth with her hand.

"But I've been 'friend zoned', isn't that the term?" Draco looked like his anger and embarrassment sobered him quite a bit. Hermione scoffed at the crude term. She hated that, so undignified.

"Honestly! There is no 'friend zone' because women aren't machines you…" Hermione waved her hands around and Draco ducked back as if he thought she was trying to hit him again. "You just drop trust and niceness into until sex falls out. The 'term' is disgusting and sexist and-"

"Always with the self-righteous yelling." Draco mumbled. "You were the one going on about Ginny. I was just saying that I wouldn't let that happen to you. That's what you had been getting at, admit it!"

Hermione involuntarily reached for her wand. _No. . I'm was responsible. I'm in my teacher suit._ She was not going to hex her friend in a drunken disagreement. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth to speak rationally.

"Miss Granger." A deep male voice said.

Hermione turned around and it took her a moment to recognize Liam Frey standing above them. She stood fully and tried to look serious, like an authoritative figure even though she was drunk and Liam probably saw her punch her friend for trying to snog her right in front of the school. _Merlin!_

"Mr. Frey, what are you doing out past curfew?"

Liam looked down at Draco who was straightening his black robes and clearly resisting the urge to hold his face. He looked back at Hermione with even, unreadable and unbelievably dark blue eyes. He looked wholesome and like he might grow up to be a handsome man but those eyes were too dark. It almost felt like when you looked into them… something other than just that boy was looking back at you. "Walking."

"I have to take him back." Hermione said briskly, turning in Draco's direction but not really looking at him. "Good evening, Mr. Malfoy."

She shuddered. She had called him 'Malfoy' when she hated him. She had called him 'Draco Malfoy' many times but 'Mr. Malfoy' only represented one person to her. A very cruel Lucius Malfoy who was spending his remaining years rotting in Azkaban.

"Mr. Frey." She said waving her hand for him to move forward in front of her and he did. They walked in silence and gradually fell into a comfortably quick speed next to one another.

Hermione waited for him to ask if he was going to be punished but he didn't say anything. She had been sobered enough by recent events to feel confident scolding him and giving him detention or taking house points but she waited for him to speak. He did not.

They walked toward the Slytherin common room and she turned to face him. She had to look up at him to meet his eyes and a shiver ran through her. He looked completely unmoved. His expression was still blank but intelligent. She felt a slight twinge of fear and resented it, not knowing why this young man would be threatening to her. She tried to look strong.

"Tomorrow you'll tell your head of house that he needs to deduct fifty points for roaming after curfew." Hermione said. "Try to refrain from doing so in the future."

"Yes, ma'am." He kept looking at her and she was the one to break eye contact.

"I'll see you in class tomorrow, Mr. Frey." She didn't need to make herself sound harsh. She decided that Liam genuinely made her uncomfortable. She turned without saying more and walked to her room.

Hermione felt exhausted and confused. She wouldn't read in to what Draco had done. He was probably embarrassed or at least he would be in the morning. People were stupid when they drank and she decided to avoid drunken Draco in the future. However, sober Draco needed to send an apology.

She sighed and fell on her bed. Crookshanks carefully walked onto her stomach and pushed his big face up against her ribcage. She petted him for several minutes. She thought about what Severus had said about her wanting the company of Slytherins. He was right. She had been so frustrated with all the passionate Gryffindor drama that she welcomed Draco's friendship. She needed some sort of balance.

Hermione thought about the class she'd have the next day and she thought about seeing Severus afterwards. The thought of seeing him again made her smile. They had been friends today and even though tomorrow he might be moody she was still happy. And then she fell asleep without even taking off her shoes or teacher suit.

**Severus:**

Severus' classes went expected. He wasn't extremely disappointed in anyone because he never tried to expect anything from the dunderheads. There were a few bright first years but he would follow the rule of not expecting anything.

It had been interesting to watch Hermione teach the fifth years. More interesting than he had expected. He wondered how many times she wished she could have taken over the classroom when she was a student. He had been rolling his eyes at the excited and meticulous way she had prepared his desk and her books. He might have even scoffed at the dreamy way she looked out at the dunderheads or 'students' as she prefers to call them. She might not want to become a teacher but she definitely has a passion for knowledge, giving and receiving, apparently.

Severus had been surprised when she talked to him for as long as she had afterwards. He knew that Draco was waiting for her –for whatever reason he didn't understand- and he had the feeling that -had he tried- Hermione would have stayed and talked to him longer. He was surprised to find that he didn't find Hermione to be overwhelmingly repulsive, like he had when she was a child. He had been sure that she was going to grow up to be a –the word is unkind but completely fitting- bitch. He had been wrong though. Hermione was more familiar than necessary but she didn't ramble anymore or at least not noticeably. She didn't seem to seek approval as much as she once had and she was content to let others speak. And she was witty.

Since that conversation Severus had resolved to enjoy her company, her smiles, and her deep, soulful eyes but he didn't entertain any fantasy of being with her. He hadn't even consciously decided this. It was just so completely off the proverbial table that it didn't matter. It was as if as soon as he recognized the pull she had over him he began to sort anything that had to do with her into the 'impossible' file. She didn't consume his every thought and he didn't feel that she had worked her way under his skin. He remained unaffected but aware. It was as if his body had built up immunity to this sort of nonsense and attacked the threat before it could harm him.

When he saw her enter the staffroom after her class he gave a short nod. She walked next to him and unceremoniously sat in the chair she had before. She was too small for it and even though her long legs reached the ground, the chair overwhelmed her.

"I heard Mr. Frey was caught past curfew last night."

"And outside the gates no less." Hermione was pulling a paper out of her bag and resting it on her lap, over a book. He wondered if she was going to grade papers one by one on her lap instead of setting up a space at the table or taking them to her room.

"I wonder why you didn't deduct more points if that were the case." Severus had already obtained that detail. Mr. Frey willingly came to Severus, without having the decency to look frightened, and explained that Hermione had caught him walking outside the gates. "I wonder if Mr. Frey's crush has worked in his favor."

"Excuse me?" Hermione looked up. Her eyes were large and the brown seemed almost tinted with a deep red or rust color. Her long eyelashes swooped over her high cheekbones. He could hardly blame the boy for paying attention.

"You're not so dense that you're ignorant to the fact that our quiet Mr. Frey fancies you?" Severus raised an eyebrow to challenge her disbelieving face. She pursed her lips disapprovingly and looked back down at the paper. "He stared at you through the entire class."

"He isn't just quiet, he's contemplative and creepy." Hermione shook her head a little, moving curls that had been poorly tamed. "If scowling were a sign of affection I'd assume you fancy everyone."

"You didn't give him an adequate punishment because he's… 'creepy'? Tut, tut, Hermione."

"I guess he does unnerve me but he hadn't been doing anything more mischievous than walking around past curfew." Hermione looked to be considering what she said and then confidently stated, "The punishment was adequate."

"Do you expect them to respect you as a teacher if you're afraid of them?" Severus said and could see she heard the unspoken 'tut, tut'.

"So they should be afraid of me?" Hermione challenged. "And that tactic has worked so well for you?"

"It has worked for me." Severus said quickly. "Don't fret. When I first started I had to work to show the students I was more frightening than the gangly, quiet, bookworm I appeared to be."

"I doubt you had to work very hard." Hermione looked like she was lost in thought for a moment and he wondered if she was thinking of how terrified the children should have been. "And you're still a gangly, quiet, bookworm."

Severus looked back down at the book on his lap. They were alone in the staffroom and he was painfully aware of her brown eyes still observing him. He wondered if she expected him to snap at her and if he should. "Yes. And you're still an insufferable know-it-all."

"Really?" Hermione said with mock curiosity. He didn't look at her but he could hear a smile pulling both corners of her lips. "You seem to suffer my presence easily enough, Severus."

The way her voice lingered on his name felt dangerous, like they were teetering over some invisible line with each syllable. He looked at her and she looked confident. Not her fake mask of confidence but the way she looked in the classroom after she had been challenged and succeeded. It was smug. Her eyes seemed to keep a light pressure on his while they acknowledged that something seemed to change. They had gone over the line all of a sudden.

"I was a double spy, Hermione. I've been trained to withstand even the cruelest forms of torture, including the presence of an insufferable know-it-all."

Minerva walked into the room and they both seemed to be broken from the tension that had been building between them. The fire cracked loudly as if it had been affected by the change in atmosphere.

Severus looked back down at his book, allowing Hermione to socialize and excuse herself. Before she left she walked back to her chair to collect her things. She had an elegant slender body for being short and used it to her advantage, bending to pick up her bag. He made no effort to pretend not to notice her delicate form as she bent modestly at her knees and dipped her slightly curved back down so she could collect her things.

"Goodnight, Severus."

"Hermione." He nodded and looked back down at his book.

He was definitely learning to appreciate her company. Hopefully that wouldn't prove to be dangerous for her.

**Hermione:**

Hermione walked out of the staffroom and took a deep breath. She had been hung over this morning, over worked with Poppy, somewhat frustrated with the laziness of the distracted fifth years, and she felt guilty for not trying to make time to go visit with Ginny. Any moment that her head wasn't occupied with work was ruing over what had transpired the night before.

But as she walked out of the staffroom her thoughts took a completely different turn.

Hermione felt a disapproving pull in the pit of her stomach. She had been flirting with Severus and even though she knew that shouldn't happen she wasn't sure if she would stop. She felt safe in it though, because even if she continued she had the feeling he would let her. It was almost an unspoken understanding that he would allow her to carry on for her own amusement. She thought he assumed that her light teasing words were nothing more than her way of interacting and jesting with her older friend.

And that's all it should have been. That's what she thought it had been. She thought she just liked to push their familiarity because it proved they were friends and that she had special rights with him, that others did not. That he was just a moody animal that would let her exist in his presence. But then he had looked at her like that and she had made herself not look away…and the pull in her tummy and the excitement she felt during these interactions was telling her what she had been trying to ignore.

Hermione actually flirted with Severus Snape, even if he took it for nothing more than one of her silly comments. She liked him and enjoyed his company. She thought about their conversations long after they were over. Hermione realized with mixed emotions that she cared about that strange, dark eyed man. But she still felt safe with her ridiculous feelings because he would never reciprocate them.

Hermione sighed on her bed and turned into her pillow. She wanted to laugh at herself for developing those feelings. Severus probably would if he knew there was any merit to her smiles and jokes. So the crush was easy, light and harmless. She fell asleep, letting herself indulge in her silly, harmless, post-schoolgirl crush.


	4. a complication

**Thanks for the reviews and feedback! It really helps! My knowledge of potions is not extensive since I'm not a fifth year potions student so hopefully you'll excuse any mistakes made on my part within the classroom. **

**Chapter 4**

**Ginny, Staurday:**

Ginny waited at a booth at three broomsticks for Hermione. She felt sick. She had six days left to find a husband.

What the hell was going on in the world where this was her problem? Her problems should consist of her brothers, NEWTS, what to wear to upcoming celebrations, quidditch, and if her and Ron were ever going to make up. They would, the last one was rubbish. Ron was just being difficult.

Ginny had tried to talk to him about what was going on and ended up listening to him talk about his problems –his problems were complete rubbish. When she tried to talk to her mum she was surprised by how excited she was at the prospect. Ginny was her only daughter and the first thing her mother thought of was grandchildren. It was like the whole world woke up and went crazy.

She had thought of going out, trying to meet someone. None of the boys at school were of age. _How was it appropriate that a witch was old enough to get married at seventeen and wizards weren't?_ Not that there was anyone at school that she wanted to marry but at least she knew them. The thought of going out and saying 'So I have to get married, do you want to get married?' depressed her so much she would just end up crying and going to sleep. But this was the way it was. This was what was happening. She would just have to sit back and let it happen…

Hermione walked in looking pretty awful. Her curly brown hair was less curls and more bush, today. Her shirt was stained with either gross things from potions class or grosser things from the hospital wing. She smiled brightly at Ginny even though she looked tired.

"Has he written you back yet?" Ginny asked as Hermione shuffled into the space opposite Ginny.

"Let's not talk about him." Hermione waved her hand like there was a bad smell she was trying to get rid of. "I've been trying not to think about it. How are you? Was your mum any help?"

"Not really." Ginny shook her head and turned her mug in her hands. She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and looked up, smiling because she decided not to be so grim today. "Tell me about it. I really would rather think about your life. It's funny."

Hermione grimaced for a moment but then decided to humor her sad friend. "I had decided to leave it alone –figured he was drunk and hoped he wouldn't remember."

"That you punched him or that he proposed?" Ginny tried a laugh and managed a smile.

"Both. I got the letter yesterday." Hermione imitated a Draco voice now and Ginny thought about pointing out that she wouldn't have heard him in the letter but let her carry on. "_Dear Hermione, I think we need to talk. Don't worry, my face is still prettier than yours. Draco Malfoy. _So I don't know what I should take from that. I've honestly been trying to act as if the memory had been obliviated."

"You should have accepted." Ginny mumbled and Hermione's bad-smell-face was back on.

"It's Malfoy we're talking about." Hermione looked like she wanted to say more but held back. Ginny didn't want her to feel like she had to walk on eggshells. "I think he was mostly drunk. I think he's probably going to laugh at the whole situation and then we can just pretend like it never happened."

"Mione, I don't want to talk about the Ministry but… Maybe Draco wouldn't be so bad. It's only a matter of time before you get your letter." Ginny said. She wondered a little spitefully why Hermione hadn't got her summons already. She had thought about it when she had first received hers over the summer. She thought the ministry was starting with pure-bloods. She wasn't sure why but the fact that she knew three other pure-blood witches who had received theirs and zero muggle-borns supported this.

Hermione nodded. "I'm so sorry you're going through this, Ginny. I don't know how you're holding it together. It isn't right."

"How is everything going with Snape?" Ginny asked wanting a subject change. She waited for Hermione to start listing everything that she loved about teaching the class but Hermione just looked down at her hands for a moment.

"It's great. I really like working with him."

"Does he know you punched his Godson?" Ginny managed a small laugh when Hermione's face paled.

"I don't think so… No. He would have said something about it by now. I can't believe I did that!"

"What will you say if Malfoy actually wants to marry you?"

"It would never work." Hermione shook her head. "Even if you forget that we don't like one another, his family would _never _allow it. Besides, I highly doubt that he was serious. He was pretty far gone by the time we left."

Ginny wanted to ask if Hermione had talked to Ron or if she planned on doing so but she wouldn't. Then Hermione would ask about Harry… It seemed every subject they had something to say about was taboo for one reason or another.

"Do you think there's something wrong with my chin?" Hermione asked. Ginny looked up at her, slightly confused. Her chin looked the way it always did. She wondered if one of Hermione's students had said something mean but Ginny couldn't see a blemish or anything.

"No…"

"Your chin looks good too." Hermione sighed and ordered a butterbeer.

"Thanks…"

**Hermione, Friday:**

It was Friday and Hermione had spent the past two weeks trying to fall into a routine. She thought she had a fairly comfortable routine down. Or as comfortable as it could be with all the work she was trying to stay ahead of with Poppy.

Hermione had wondered if Poppy was jealous of Severus for the time she spent with him. Hermione had gotten the feeling, once or twice, that Poppy felt slightly snubbed. She didn't want Poppy to think that she held potions or teaching higher than healing. She tried not to talk about the classroom when she was working with Poppy. She even went so far as to sound depressed about it when Poppy brought it up.

If she were being honest with herself she wasn't torn between either. She felt like she could be an efficient professor or healer but neither held much passion for her.

She was starting to think her logical brain, that needed order and organization, wouldn't even be able to survive the chaos of the hospital. Everyday something different was happening. She never had her meals at the right time and they were often cut short. But she taught herself to appreciate the excitement.

The classroom was very similar to the way it had been when she was a student. She had gone into it believing that the students would be opened and excited to learn. Maybe if she had gotten the first years it would have worked out that way. As it was, they were genuinely sweet to her and happy that they didn't have Severus but none of them –aside from Lill Loll, the current know-it-all- were excited to learn anything. She couldn't help but feel like when the students were engaged they were just humoring her. So they pitied her.

Hermione's reflections on her two jobs –though job may be the wrong term since she was only gaining knowledge and credits but no financial benefits- may have seemed depressing but she was actually really happy. She didn't have some third option that she would have rather been doing and she was well situated at Hogwarts.

The highlights of her day were always the playful banter she'd exchange with Severus. She didn't see him as often as she'd like, just teasing words when she came into his class or when she saw him in the staffroom. She was pretty sure that they talked more than he did with any of the other staff members and that made her feel extremely privileged.

Hermione was staring at the papers in front of her on his desk, wondering if he was going to meet her in there today. She wanted to make some excuse to be around him for more than just a few minutes. Eric Webber pulled her away from her thoughts.

"Will you teach us how to make Amortentia?" Eric asked and Hermione snorted before looking up at him and shaking her head.

"That is very dangerous."

"What's dangerous about being in love?" Eric laughed. Normally she would have discouraged a discussion so far off subject but everyone was working independently.

"It makes the afflicted become completely infatuated –not real love- even the smell of the potion-"

"You smell the things that are most attractive to you." Miss Loll interrupted and Hermione looked up to smile at her. She hadn't realized anyone else was listening to Eric, she barely was.

"That's right, Miss Loll."

"What did it smell like to you, Miss Granger?" Miss Loll asked. She had that far-away look most fifth year girls had when they thought about love. Lill looked at Liam Frey admiringly and Hermione felt a sudden urge to protect her from the boy. He had a darkness that seemed to hover around him. Lill was a strong witch and Hermione wondered how she couldn't see it.

Hermione leaned back in her chair, trying to remember. "Freshly cut grass, like the way it smells on the grounds surrounding Hogwarts in the morning." She remembered that she distinctly smelt Ron's hair. She wondered if she were to smell the potion again if it would smell… different. "I don't think Professor Snape would be ecstatic to find out that I taught you lot how to make the most powerful love potion."

"He's never _ecstatic_ about anything." Eric mumbled to his partner, Liam Frey, but not with enough decency to be quiet. Liam Frey was, like usual, just watching Hermione with a bored expression and occasionally working on his notes. She would have snapped at him to work harder but in the past two weeks he had proven to be extremely competent. "Maybe he could use some amortentia."

"Careful, Mr. Webber." Hermione said. "Or you'll be in detention with a very less than ecstatic me."

"Yes, ma'am." Eric grumbled.

It was the last five minutes of class when Severus walked in through his office and she smiled at him. He gave her, what she liked to call 'her smirk' and a short nod. He looked handsome. Tall, thin and graceful with his hands behind his back. She reluctantly turned away to look back at the class.

"On Wednesday we're going to learn how to make Confusing Concoction." Hermione said. The students, as usual, stiffened as Severus walked around their work stations.

"We learned how to make that third year." Lill Loll whined and received several disapproving glances from other students. Hermione smiled at the girl who longed to be challenged.

"You didn't let me finish, Miss Loll." Hermione said kindly. "Tomorrow we'll make the Confusing concoction and I want you to figure out how to take the same ingredients, add them to the already made potion and produce Felix Felicis, or more commonly known as liquid luck. Until we meet again you should be focusing on how you'll accomplish that."

"That's impossible." Eric said indignantly. "The components are completely different. You don't even put rat tails into liquid luck." He looked behind her at Severus as if he were pleading for him to back him up. Hermione never thought she'd live to see the day a Hogwarts student would look to Snape for help against her.

She opened her mouth to correct him but Miss Loll beat her to it. "Difficult, not impossible. The leeches could work in the same style as rat tails I suppose… if you dried them? And you'd have to add them first at a different temperature…"

"Yes, Miss Toll, and no more helping Mr. Webber. He is perfectly capable." Hermione said. She started gathering her things as did the students, waiting to be excused. "At the end of the period you'll test out your own potion and the result will be half of your grade for this term."

The silence in the room was overwhelming. Even Miss Loll wasn't sure what to say. Hermione looked up as if she completely didn't understand the confusion. "Class is over, dismiss yourselves."

"Do you think that's wise?" Severus asked when the last student exited the room. They were both behind the desk, him sitting in the chair and her leaning against the desk with her bag over her shoulder.

"They'll either leave feeling lucky, confused or nothing. There couldn't be any harmful effects from ingesting it since it's all the same components… I've gone over every possible outcome –loads of teachers here use hands on techniques. Learning to work with the materials you have is important since you won't always have what you need outside the safety of a fully stocked classroom. The smart ones deserve to feel lucky and if the others can't grasp the concept of ingredient variation then they'll feel confused –as they should. I hardly think –What? What's that face for?"

"What 'face' would that be, Hermione?" Severus folded his arms over his chest and barely hid his amusement.

"The one where you look like you're enjoying a joke and I've missed the punch-line." Hermione arched an eyebrow looking down at him. "I see that face too often."

"Telling the headmaster that you plan to have a group of dunderheads throw expensive ingredients into cauldrons, hope for the best and consume their own creation; that is the _punch-line_." Severus was still smirking, raising an eyebrow and probably resisting the urge to shake his head at her.

"_Or_, we don't have them consume it. We could let them try their theory with the _belief_ that they'll have to consume what they make. I think they'll work harder."

"That's sneaky." Severus said with thoughtful approval. "I want to borrow your potions notes."

Hermione tried not to smile like an idiot when she nodded. "I can bring them to the staffroom?"

Severus nodded and she left feeling like she might float down the halls like a ghost. Why did he have such an extreme effect on her?

She decided to change into something more casual since she was out of the classroom. She felt ridiculous deciding what to wear because she knew it was only for Severus' benefit. She didn't want to appear as if she was trying to dress up for him. She finally decided on a snug pair of muggle jeans and a low cut –not too low but enough to show a small amount of cleavage- dark blue top.

Severus was the only other person in the staffroom, sitting in his chair. Her heart leapt at the idea of being alone with him.

"I brought my potions book." Hermione said cheerily as she walked over. She pulled it out of her bag and handed it to him. She didn't want to leave even though he took it from her hand –accidently brushing her finger- and began flipping through the contents. To give herself an excuse to stay she made her way over to the table.

"You have more notes and theories than I do." Severus said distractedly and Hermione was happy he couldn't see the huge grin on her face.

"The students can be inspiring, I guess." She said nonchalantly.

"I doubt that, Hermione."

"They want to learn how to make Amortentia." Hermione laughed and shook her head. She laid her papers out on the table.

"Ridiculous." He still had the distracted tone he usually used when he was reading and talking simultaneously.

"They don't know any better. They're just innocent children trying to deal with rampaging hormones." Hermione was still trying to find all of the essays and felt a little fear rising in her chest. What if she lost them? What if she left them in the hospital's office?

"And you're not innocent? I hadn't realized you had become so wise in your old age." Severus was behind her and she gasped a little, not realizing he had moved. One long arm almost bumped her as he reached around her to drop the essays on the long wood table. So she left the essays in his room?

"I'm not _that_ innocent." Hermione tried to defend herself with a statement that could sound extremely suggestive but kept her tone the same, hoping it would only sound… conversational? Unimportant? She could say the same comment easily to Ginny or Harry but the fact that she was attracted to Severus made it harder for the claim on her status of innocence to sound innocent. And his close proximity made everything seem less innocent. Hermione's throat started to feel extremely tight.

"No?" Severus said. He hadn't moved very close at all but his voice seemed to reach out to her and make her feel exposed. Severus' voice was always at a deep even tone that almost made her feel like he was somehow capable of pull something out of her. She turned her head just enough to look over her shoulder at him and felt a blush run up from her toes to her cheeks. She darted her eyes away to a safer place. "Clearly."

"At least I've had an adult relationship." Hermione tried to sound bored after being slightly embarrassed by the reaction he could get from her. How was he always able to sound so distracted and uninterested and when she tried she only came across as inarticulate? "I think that's more than my class can say."

"Yes, the very adult and mature relationship with Mr. Weasley." His disdain for Ron hadn't been miraculously cured after the war and that was clear in the pronunciation of his name. But he was more upset than he would be at just the memory of Ron. She wondered if he was trying to say that she wasn't mature either.

"Ron wasn't very mature but he's a good person."

"That _epic_ romance seemed to have been written by destiny herself. What a shock it didn't last." He was definitely angry but she didn't know why. Severus was sitting back in the chair, he had set her potions book aside and was picking up the one he had before.

"You're aware it ended? I wouldn't have thought you were one to participate in gossip." Hermione tried to remain impassive but she felt herself becoming angry and couldn't identify why. She felt a little defensive for the cold way he talked about Ron and frustrated that he would judge her life… even though, admittedly that relationship had become a train-wreck. "Minerva will be so pleased to have a new outlet for scandalous information. I'd expect a tea invite soon, Severus."

"I saw the way you two interacted at order meetings. Mr. Weasley doesn't seem to have the mental capacity to attempt discretion." Severus was replacing his book and readying himself to leave. "I doubt making an observation brings me to a Minerva level of snooping and meddling."

"I don't make observations about your personal life." Hermione turned to face him. He was standing beside his chair with a cold, indifferent expression.

"Don't you?" Severus said while Hermione packed the things she needed into her bag. If he wasn't going to leave she was. "Could we assume that your lack of comment on my personal life stems from lack of knowledge on the subject or would that suggestion tarnish the implied 'you're just too good to comment on other's lives'?"

"Not too good, just too respectful for others privacy." Hermione regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. _He_ of all people was well aware of her tendency to meddle in people's privacy. He knew that she was aware of his obsession with Harry's mother. That Harry and her had discussed it. She opened her mouth and thought of how to shield herself from him pointing this out.

But she didn't have to. The smug look on his face told her he already knew he won. He sat back down in his chair and –just for his own amusement- added, "How morally sound you are, Miss Granger. Maybe one day the rest of us will be able to rise to the example you've set."

Hermione walked out of the staffroom and her hands shook.

She went through the motions of her evening like she did every other night but thought constantly about that insufferable man.

She respected him immensely; anyone who didn't was a complete arse. He was intelligent and witty. She had felt some validation of her own self-worth when he started asking her opinions and genuinely seemed to value her as an equal. Now that she was angry she was upset with herself for letting his acceptance have such an impact on her.

She was intelligent. They had scored the same on their NEWTS! He should feel validated that she would even seek his approval. The fact that he would _never _do that only made her feel more ridiculous. Why was he allowed to be so moody and no one else was? He would never let people treat him the way he treated everyone.

Hermione took a deep breath. She was angry but even in her tantrum; she knew that she was just working herself up. The truth was that she did value his friendship… and his voice. Friends got into arguments. She fought with Harry and Ron all the time. If she wanted him to treat her like an equal she'd have to demonstrate that he couldn't treat her like someone he didn't respect. Their argument might have even served her in that task. She stood up for herself and even though she ultimately had nothing to say in her defense, she had acted like a lady.

Severus:

Severus sat back in his chair in the staffroom. It had become 'his' chair the night that Hermione had found him in there. He never spent much time in there and the night she had found him there was only because he had been waiting for Minerva. After that he started going there more frequently in hopes of finding or being found by Hermione.

He pushed his hair back and stared at the fire. He had overreacted.

Severus had been watching her. He was always watching her. When he had provoked her to comment on her innocence she blushed and his chest felt lighter. She had been flirtatious with him lately and even though she was cautious she never seemed to doubt herself. He felt an odd sort of triumph at seeing her composure falter. He felt like he had pushed them into a deeper realm of flirting, going further over that blurry line of what was appropriate without completely scaring her off.

And then Ron the dunderhead Weasley was brought up and Severus' tone went from calm and seductive to… well he acted like a dunderhead. He wanted to see how far he could get with insulting Ron and was disappointed when she became defensive almost immediately.

She said Ron was a good person. Did she think Severus was a good person?

When she said she didn't make comments about his personal life he had been offended. Not because he knew she did in fact discuss his personal life, with Potter of all people, but because she had made it very clear that their ''personal lives' were separate and obviously not opened for comment. She was actually attempting to point at that blurry line and say this was where it was drawn.

Before she left without offering a civil 'goodbye' he had felt like he won the argument. But at what cost and why did there have to be an argument in the first place? Did he really have to feel so jealous because she brought up Weasley? He hadn't thought about it when it was happening. One second he was staring at her legs and making her blush and the next they were spitting quick offenses. He didn't even care that she knew about Lily.

Lily Evans didn't haunt him anymore. It seemed that since he had paid his debt to her she was no longer the mistress of his heart. He could think of her and not feel the pain that he once had. But years of bitterness had left him altered. With her gone, it was all he had. The fear of being rejected and feeling that pain again marinated every thought he had of Hermione.

Now they had a fight and she wasn't going to waste her time, smiles or sweet blushes on him anymore.

Hermione:

Hermione was lying in her bed. Crookshanks was rubbing his face persistently against her back but she wouldn't turn to him. She was so frustrated.

Severus was a moody, guarded, arse and she was going to have to show a great deal of tact to get back in his good graces and be the type of friend he couldn't just randomly yell at.

Someone started pounding on her door, making her and Crookshanks both jump. She ran to it, expecting it to be Poppy and hoping that everything was alright.

"This is unbelievable!" Ginny was sobbing but her voice was angry and tight. She was holding a piece of wrinkled parchment in her hands and walked past Hermione, into the room.

"What's wrong?" She wasn't sure if she should try to comfort her friend or not. Ginny looked seriously enraged. "What is it, Ginny?"

Ginny shoved the letter toward Hermione. Paranoia ran through her. She panicked that Harry had written her back and not said the right thing and now Ginny was mad at her for meddling. She should have respected Ginny's feelings and stayed out of her personal life… Okay, she knew exactly where that thought had come from and shooed it away. She was way too occupied with her friend to start thinking about Severus being right about anything.

She unfolded the crumbled, wet letter. It was a formal letter from the ministry. Hermione's eyes flew up to Ginny. "They're actually making you marry someone."

Ginny nodded and paced the small room. She pulled her hair back from her tear stained face. "Keep reading."

Hermione's heart sank for her friend. Her eyes scanned down the lines of obligatory titles and paragraphs about conduct and dates and everything that was to be expected. Merlin, Ginny was going to have the Ministry involved in her entire marriage. Down to the amount of children she should have and by when. Hermione wanted to drop the paper and hug her friend but she kept reading.

At the bottom of the page she finally found what Ginny had wanted her to see.

_Ginevra Weasley will enter into an engagement with the intentions of marrying Severus Snape. The engagement will have to be documented and…._

Hermione kept looking at the page but she couldn't read anymore. It was like her brain only recognized Ginny and Severus' names and was trying to understand the connection between the two. She felt goosebumps all over her skin. She felt cold but could feel sweat accumulating on her palms and above her lip. Her neck was feeling tight again.

She thought of Severus touching Ginny. Of him smirking at her with Hermione's smirk, teasing her, talking to her in that slow menacing voice. It hurt and Hermione knew, without a doubt that she could no longer tell herself that she only had a passing crush on Severus. She loved him and he was going to marry her best-friend.


	5. Propositions

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews! This chapter is as evil as the last but I promise things take a positive turn next chapter.**

**Chapter 5**

**Friday night, Severus:**

Severus actually felt sympathetic toward any dunderheads he'd find whilst making his rounds. Anyone who crossed him tonight was in for it. He stalked the halls. His robes were doing what Hermione had teased and called 'ominously billowing'. Ridiculous. How could robes be ominous? He moved quickly because he didn't waste his time like most people.

Ginevra Weasley was walking down the hall, closing the space between them. He smiled wickedly. He was going to scare the hell out of the wondering Gryffindor. _Fuck Ron Weasley. _

She was out roaming past curfew and didn't even look frightened to see him. In fact, the closer she got he thought she looked angry. Miss Weasley was a close friend to Hermione and the dunderhead's little sister and at this moment, that wasn't going to work in her favor.

"Miss Weasley." Severus snapped. "Out past curfew? Is there any_ legitimate_ reason you have for sneaking through the halls? A hundred points from-"

"Then you haven't received your letter, Professor Snape." Ginny all but shoved a parchment into his hands and crossed her arms over her chest.

He grimaced at her before unfolding the paper. If there were some order business Albus would have informed him. He seriously doubted the ginger before him had any credible reason to be out roaming the halls and being hostile toward him.

"This…" Severus' voice cracked as he stared down at the paper.

"Yes." Miss Weasley said and reached for her letter back. Severus extended his arm and had it tugged from his hand quickly. "The Ministry would have us become husband and wife."

Severus turned in the opposite direction and walked down the halls to Albus' office. The old wizard was still awake and sitting behind his desk when Severus stormed inside. Once he was there he wasn't sure what he was expected Albus to do.

"Is there something troubling you, Severus?" Albus asked. "Would you like a lemon drop?"

Confusion distracting him, he scoffed at the offer while taking the lemon drop. Albus looked amused but tried to school his features.

"I just spoke to Ginevra Weasley. She has received a letter from the ministry informing her as to whom she is expected to spend the rest of her life with. Do you know who that person is? Who the Ministry has decided to match her with, in all their wisdom and expertise?"

"Would you like to tell me?"

"I will not marry her."

"Oh," Albus sounded as shocked as Severus had been and for one moment Severus thought there was some hope. He thought Albus would be on his side. He'd help him appeal this ridiculous letter and they could all act like this never happened. "Well, it will benefit Ginny. She'll be able to continue on with her education –though she'll have to finish her potions class independently. A good situation for her."

Severus stared at Albus, blinking. "How _fortunate _for Miss Weasley."

"You deserve a companion, Severus." Albus said firmly.

Severus wasn't sure if he _deserved _a companion but he would like a companion. As much as he had grown to hate his fellow death eaters and the other prejudice aristocratic pure-bloods he had to keep company with, they were company. After the war most of his 'friends' were either dead or in Azkaban. Most of the remaining didn't appreciate how he had fought against the dark lord, not that he wanted to see them anyway. A companion would change the postwar solidarity he had become accustomed to. But Miss Weasley was _not _the companion he had had in mind.

"You look conflicted."

"I'm outraged." Severus said. He wouldn't raise his voice at Albus; he just kept it at a low growl. "I won't do this."

"It's the only option. You've faced worse things than marriage."

"Have I?" Severus scoffed at Albus' amused expression. "Worse than being forced to marry the youngest ginger weasel that is also a current student of mine? She's a child."

"She's not much younger than Miss Granger."

_Damn Albus. _Of course he would know where Severus' thoughts fell. He had made no effort to hide his growing fondness for her –there was no reason to since she wouldn't feel the same, at least not beyond harmless flirting. There was never any secret to keep so he didn't care when someone saw them laughing or talking together. And of course people would assume he wanted her. He was momentarily offended that they would assume he wasn't friendly with her purely out of an intellectual interest. And then he remembered that before their argument he had wanted very badly to bend her over the staffroom table.

"That's true. They're both children." Severus mumbled. He wasn't going to have a heart to heart with Albus right now. Not about Hermione.

"Hermione has had a difficult time. She deserves something simple and you deserve a companion. You shouldn't fight this."

"You're usually much more cryptic. I think I prefer the mysterious nonsense to this direct absurdity."

"Let's see what happens." Albus said and Severus walked out of the office.

He couldn't help but feel that there was some truth to what Albus said, at least about Hermione. She did deserve something simple. If she ever did want to be with him it wouldn't be entirely fair to take her. He was arrogant, selfish, bad tempered and jealous.

That, did not change the fact that he did not want to be with Ginevra Weasley and it was perfectly clear she felt the same way about him. Even if he could never touch Hermione he wasn't going to marry into the Weasel family. He was _not _going to marry Potter's ex-girlfriend.

**Hermione:**

"You're getting married to Severus Snape?" Hermione wasn't really sure what she was saying. She was still holding the letter with both hands. Crookshanks was sitting on the bed, staring up at her.

"What am I going to do?" Ginny fell down next to Crookshanks and put her hands in her face.

Hermione felt herself going to her friend and wrapping her arms around her but she felt like something had dug a hole in the middle of her chest.

"It's alright, Ginny." She pushed Ginny's perfect, straight, smooth hair out of her face and over her shoulder. "We'll figure something out. They can't make you do something you don't want to."

"I have to." Ginny shook her head a little, trying to shake off all the hurt she was feeling. She sniffed and stood up. "I can't break the law or live without magic."

"So you're going to marry him?" Hermione realized that her eyes were filling with tears and so did Ginny. Ginny smiled at her and Hermione felt extremely ashamed that she was crying for herself and not her friend. She shook off her selfish behavior and cleared her throat. "I'll talk to Severus; he might be able to appeal this somehow."

"Maybe. He's not very happy about it." Ginny sighed. "I saw him in the hall. He didn't even know. I was so upset; I threw the letter in his face."

"What did he say?" Hermione tried not to sound as desperate as she felt.

"Nothing." Ginny laughed but there was no humor in it. "That's the only good thing about it. I think he's as upset as I am."

Hermione stood from her bed and cleared her throat. "I'm going to go talk to him."

"Now?" Ginny yelped. "What are you going to say?"

"I… I don't know." Hermione pulled her hair up into a lose bun on her head. "But it will be alright. We'll fix this."

Hermione pulled a black t-shirt over her tank-top; she left her grey thin sweatpants on and pushed her feet into her puffy pink slippers. She didn't have time to worry about how she looked. Actually, she had the time but her brain was barely moving at the speed of smell. She couldn't focus on anything. She couldn't think about anything. She wasn't sure what she would say.

Hermione and Ginny walked out of her room and embraced one another. They agreed to meet first thing in the morning and Hermione walked toward the dungeons.

Severus wasn't in his classroom. She knocked on his office door and received no answer. She tried to open it so she could knock on the door to his study but it was locked. She had been playing out how this was going to go. She thought she might burst into the room demanding he straighten everything out. She thought about being welcomed in and admitting that she cared about him and begging him not to marry Ginny. She even thought about walking in and telling him she'd fix everything.

She did not however think that he wasn't going to be there. She stared at his office door for a moment, standing in the cold, dark classroom. Resigned to leave she turned back around with a heavy heart. The door swung opened and Severus was plowing through. He stopped when he saw her and an icy expression took over her features.

Right, she had almost forgotten about their fight earlier. It didn't seem to matter now.

"Miss Granger. I assume there's a reason you're in my classroom. In your pajamas." His voice was too much for her right now. So she opened her mouth to say a lot so he'd only have to speak a little. With courage she didn't have she closed the distance between them so he was only a few steps from her.

"Ginny told me that you two are supposed to be married. I implore you to stop this from happening."

"I thought we had decided not to meddle in one another's personal lives." Severus mumbled. He was walking past her to his office and she followed him. He was opening drawers in his desk and ignoring her.

"Ginny is my friend. _You _are my friend. Friends fight sometimes. I hardly think that one argument is a substantial reason to-"

"I am not in the mood to make or hear apologies for a disagreement I haven't thought of since it occurred. I _am _in the mood to drink the rest of this firewhiskey," he held the bottle up briefly after recovering it from the drawer and began pouring the contents into a small goblet. "So I will extend my apologies for not being able to meet your request and ask you to leave."

"Isn't there something you can do?" Hermione pleaded. Her desire to tell him how she felt had left her. She was too frightened now. Not of Severus, though he was more than frightening in this mood, but she was too afraid to hear what he would say.

He was looking at her and for a moment she held her breath, not knowing what to make of his expression. "What would you have me do?"

"Write them back and demand that they find someone else for her to marry or-"

"As unhappy as your friend may be with this arrangement there's nothing that I can do." Severus' voice was cold and short. It was somehow worse than when she had been his student.

"Then we could tell them that we're engaged." Hermione paused when his black eyes shot up to hers. She had to look down at her feet to find the courage to keep speaking even though she wasn't sure of what she was saying. "Tell them that we had decided to keep it secret until I left my apprenticeship with Poppy. They wouldn't force you out of an engagement –even such an informal one."

"And if they did break off the engagement? Then we would be forced into a marriage together." He touched his neck and she wondered if it hurt him.

Hermione felt a lump in her throat and tried to swallow it away. He made it sound like one was no better than the other. "We could always break off the engagement later…"

"Your bravery never falters, Miss Granger. You'd do that to try and save her from such a horrible match."

"I thought I'd be saving both of you." She tried not to sound as hurt as she was felt.

"My, my, we do think highly of ourselves. You think I would be happier to marry you?" Severus shook his head and had that face again, the one where he was enjoying a private joke. Hermione felt her heart ripping apart and the logical part of her brain took over.

"I'm older than her-"

"By two years."

"Four, actually, because of the time turner." Hermione knew that four years still wasn't a significant amount of time and moved on quickly. "I am not your student. We have already built a friendship." _I want to marry you. _But she couldn't say that. She couldn't. Not when he was like this.

"Give _Ginny _my sympathy. I believe she's going to be stuck with me." Severus got up like he was going to walk out of his office and into his study. Hermione felt tears stinging her eyes but there was no way she would cry in front of him.

"Why-"

"I appreciate the heroic display. But this isn't a sword you can throw yourself on, Miss Granger. Ginevra is a pure-blood who's fought for the order –maybe she isn't as famous for her efforts as you and the other parts of the trio but she is strong and capable. She isn't an insufferable, self-righteous, muggle-born twit."

Hermione might have stormed out of the room but Severus was already walking into the study and slamming the door that separated it from his office.

Somewhere, in her logical mind, she knew that she had offended him. He thought she was doing this to save Ginny and he didn't give her the chance to say otherwise.

Hermione told herself that a lesser woman would have fallen to the floor sobbing. She wouldn't sob over that man. She had been foolish to care for him. He wasn't the only one with problems and he was ridiculous to think that everyone should cater to him.

She was proud of herself for walking out into the halls and back to her room with her head held high. The very mature and very grown up healer apprentice/potions assistant fell onto her bed and screamed into her pillow –in a very mature fashion.

**Saturday, Hermione:**

The only thing she had to be thankful for was the fact that it was Saturday. Until she remembered she had agreed to meet with Draco. Still, she wouldn't have to see Severus for four more days if she was careful. After spending a month trying to see him it shouldn't be too difficult to figure out how to avoid him.

She showered and it took everything to leave the warmth and comfort of her shower. She put on comfortable clothes and left the safety of her room to have an awkward conversation with one of her friends.

Draco was sitting in the same booth they had gotten drunk in. He was smiling a little apologetically out from under his eyebrows.

"Hello." Hermione said lamely as she sat down opposite him.

"Don't worry. I didn't come for a repeat of what happened."

Hermione rolled her eyes but felt slightly more comfortable.

"I'll just say what I need to say." Draco started.

Hermione tried to smile kindly at him. "You barely get to visit. Let's just forget about it and start gossiping about everyone else."

"We have become friends, right?" Draco asked. Hermione knew she was being baited but wasn't sure what exactly he was getting at.

"Yes?" Hermione said and Draco looked slightly relieved. "Please don't propose to me again."

"I just want to say that my offer remains. I didn't ask properly the first time." Draco stared over her head for a moment and then looked back into her eyes kindly. "I got a notice to go wife hunting a few weeks ago. I don't have much time. You're going to get your letter any day. There's a chance that the wizard they match you to will be a handsome, intelligent man who is an even bigger show off for than you but… You know that the odds are against you, there's still a lot of prejudice out there and… I just want you to think about my offer."

Hermione had been shocked when he tried to snog her and drunkenly proposed but this shock superseded the last.

"Hermione." Draco's confidence faltered for the first time. "I know you like to do things on your own so this is obviously your choice. If you married me you'd be opening more doors for yourself. You could help more people. You want to change things –I could help you. Having a powerful pureblood name behind you would help you. Think of what you could achieve. I have no doubt that you couldn't do these things on your own but it would be easier. You could do a lot of good."

"You have become a close friend." Hermione tried to make the truth of what she said hit every syllable but he was still pulling away and any shred of vulnerability was being masked again. "You wouldn't want to marry someone who just wants your last name. You deserve better. The fact that part of me even wants to consider it makes me feel awful. I'd feel like I was using you and I'd hate myself."

"Anyone I'd marry would be attracted to my position, my family, my money… You're the only one who would love me in spite of that."

"Draco-"

"I didn't mean to say love." He shrugged one shoulder. "You know what I mean. We're friends."

"It's not love if someone's using you." Hermione said and reached across the table to hold his hand. "And you know I love you. It's just… as a friend and I don't think it's fair for you to put me in a position where I feel guilty for that."

"Think about it, alright?"

"What would you get in return?" Hermione felt herself becoming angry even though she didn't want to. "Your family would most likely disown you. I helped put your father in Azkaban."

"So did I!" Draco shouted and yanked his hand away. Once he realized people were now looking at them he regained some composure and pushed his hand through his hair. "Think about it, alright? I'll be here on Tuesday."

Hermione nodded and watched Draco leave.

**Sunday, Hermione: **

Hermione hadn't thought of what Draco said. She felt immature for just hoping the problem would go away on its own but Severus monopolized her thoughts. When she received the letter from Harry's owl she nearly knocked over two fist years in pursuit to her room. She held it desperately like it was going to be the answer to all her problems.

_Dear, Hermione_

_I miss you. Hearing from you makes me miss Hogwarts. _

_Damn, you are meddling. I don't know what to say. If it were anyone else I'd tell them to mind their own business. I was tempted to do the same to you but I know you'd come hex me. _

_I guess I should tell you that I have talked to Ginny. We're not the closest but we've sent a few letters back forth since the summer. I do still love her. I think I always will. But it isn't like that anymore. Things are different and Ginny feels the same way I do. I've also been dating someone –don't hex me for not telling you._

_You and Ginny don't talk about me? That's relieving and somewhat damaging to my ego. _

_I don't want her to be forced into a marriage with some stranger but I can't do anything about it. _

_I'm looking forward to your well behaved letter. _

_Love Harry. _

Harry, you insufferable, horrible little boy!

"Expulso!" Hermione yelled with a wave of her wand the letter exploded violently.

Hermione pulled out a piece of parchment from her drawer and sat down.

_Dear Harry_

_You may have to wait a bit longer for my 'well behaved' letter as I am in a mood. I seem to be constantly in a mood here. _

_I understand that you can't do anything. _

_No, Ginny and I don't talk about you or Ron or anything else that could lead to either party getting upset or uncomfortable. I'm glad you explained the situation to me and I'm glad that you two are talking. I noticed that you left out whether or not you are talking to Ron. So that you don't do it again, I will bluntly express that my last sentence was asking you to express the status of that friendship. _

_The marriage law is ruining everyone's life. I am so confused for reasons I cannot yet explain. I wish you were here –not that you would be any help! I just miss you guys, I guess. When did everything get so complicated? _

_Love Hermione,_

_P.S. Ginny found out who she's marrying. You should send your best wishes to Professor Snape._

Hermione smiled down at what she had written before folding it. For some reason, knowing that Harry was probably going to make her letter explode as well, made her feel better. Even if it was only for a moment.

**Severus:**

Hermione had not been in the staffroom or the library.

He had been hurt that she asked him to enter in a fake engagement so that she could save her friend. He had tried to avoid her. He had tried to avoid everyone. He had no coherent thoughts about what he had said. He remembered wanting to hurt her as much as possible. To make her hurt as badly as she was hurting him. She was almost in tears thinking about her friend having to marry him. Then he left her standing in his office and finished the night off by drinking all the firewhiskey in his possession.

He had class with his fiancé tomorrow. Would the suffering never end?

But it wasn't Ginny's fault. He had reached his quota for being an arse already. He wouldn't be bitter toward her. He would at least try to behave. He didn't want to accept what was happening to him but if they were to be married he should at least try to be civil. Maybe Hermione would forgive him if he could make Ginny happy.

Severus sent for more firewhiskey.

**Monday, Hermione:**

It was her first outing since the second time Draco had proposed. She had resigned herself to her room and the hospital wing. When Ginny came and asked if they could spend some time together she felt guilty for not checking on her sooner. The truth was she didn't think she would be much help at all. She still had no idea what to say.

Ginny walked into the three broomsticks. She looked beautiful and a little sad. Of course Severus would want Ginny. She had long red hair, like Harry's mum. And Ginny had this strong, thoughtful way about her. Hermione was a complete twit in comparison, always rambling and arguing.

"How are you feeling?" Hermione asked. She knew Ginny had potions that day but she wasn't sure if Ginny wanted to talk about it.

"Alright." Ginny sighed. "We had a chance to talk today. Briefly."

"Oh?" Hermione asked. "How was it?"

"He was actually very nice." Why did this make everything in her stomach jump? Her mouth felt dry and then a surge of saliva like she might throw up.

"Don't look at me like that. I still can't imagine _being _with him. I don't want to be with him. It was just nice to clear the air a bit." Ginny talked easily and Hermione felt like an awful friend. She wanted Ginny to be miserable again. She wanted Severus to be forced to marry anyone else that she wouldn't feel guilty hating. She wanted everything that Severus had said in his office to be a lie. She wanted him to like her best. "He admitted that he was as upset as I was but he wasn't mean about it. It was really weird to see him being… not an incredibly rude arse."

"Did he mention me yelling at him in his office?"

"No." Ginny laughed. "What did you say?"

Hermione didn't want to tell Ginny anything that would make Severus sound horrible, although he had been incredibly horrible. She told her as much as she could without making Severus sound like such an arse. She completely left out his parting words. They talked for a long time. Ginny still seemed upset but Hermione got the feeling she was somewhat relieved to know who it was. At least she didn't have to wait to find out anymore.

Hermione tried to talk positively about her friend's fiancé to sooth Ginny's nerves. He was the last person she wanted to talk positively about.

"It's just so hard. Even if I could forget that he was my professor and everything… He was a death eater." Ginny said. Hermione nodded that she understood. Even if he had been a spy he had still been a death eater of his own free will, at least in the beginning. Hermione had made peace with that. "Do you think he's a good person?"

"Yeah. He is." Hermione admitted.

"I had to send all the documents to the ministry today so I guess it doesn't really matter. We'll be married soon whether he's a good person or not."

Both girls quietly stared out at nothing. Ginny was actually going to marry Severus.

**Tuesday, Severus:**

When there was a knock at his door he felt hopeful. He thought it might be Hermione. She might need a book or something for potions tomorrow. After their fight he wasn't even sure if she was going to come back to teach the fifth years.

Maybe Ginevra talked to her. Maybe Hermione would forgive him since he had that awkward two minute conversation with his fiancé.

But he didn't really care anyway. Miss Granger could go back to being an annoying acquaintance. There strange friendship had only lasted a month. He wouldn't lie to himself and say that he didn't enjoy her company, she was intelligent and beautiful, but it wasn't something he'd die without. He had already been working to put up all the walls he needed to survive her presence in the future.

She was probably still mad about the horrible things he said and still couldn't completely remember. He was mortified at his own behavior. He could take a potion to retrieve the memories but remembered enough to know he didn't want to.

"Enter." He called in his usual tone.

Draco Malfoy walked through the door and Severus worked not to look disappointed.

They talked courteously about the boy's family until Severus said he had to get ready for class.

"I actually needed to talk to you." Draco said and nervously moved his hand over his hair, pushing it back.

"What's on your mind?"

"Hermione Granger." Draco sighed and Severus stared, he felt a muscle in his chin twitch. "And I need your help."

"That's rather vague."

"I know she's not your favorite person but we're friends and we've reached a sort of agreement…I asked her to marry me." Draco sighed and rubbed his hand over the creases in his forehead. He raised his eyebrows like he was waiting for Severus to say something. He could not. "I haven't told mum, yet. I don't expect you to understand-"

"What did she say?"

"I asked her a few weeks ago but my delivery wasn't very… She punched me." Draco looked embarrassed but managed a laugh. _How adorable. _"I asked her again on Sunday and she finally admitted defeat when I saw her an hour ago. _So…_ Now I'm here. Will you go with me to talk to mum? She might not physically attack me if there are witnesses."

"Aren't you betrothed?" Severus asked. "Your mother would never accept-"

"I thought you were different." Draco said in a low angry tone. He was standing up and making his way out of the room. "Hermione isn't just some-"

"Sit down and be quite." Severus hissed and Draco obeyed, albeit with an exasperated expression.

Severus felt possessive and angry. Not angry toward Draco. He was oblivious. He was angry at Hermione because –even if she didn't know it and he had scarcely admitted it to himself- she was his. And he was right, that was going to prove incredibly dangerous for her.

Severus thought of Draco making Hermione blush the way he had, making her laugh, making her give her chastising little smiles, and touching her legs. He realized that he didn't just enjoy her company. He was in love with Hermione Granger, and he'd be damned if he was going to let her marry his godson.

"I'll go with you. Your mother can attack us both."


	6. An explosion

**Tuesday, Hermione:**

Hermione had been so confused. She hadn't slept last night after Ginny said that she and Severus sent in all the needed documents and signatures. She just kept picturing them together. No matter how tight she squeezed her eyes.

Logically, she thought she was being insane. School started a little over one month ago. She had gone from being only a little more than indifferent to Severus to feeling like she was living to see him. One bloody month and she was reduced to a complete idiot.

And after the way he treated her! She had more respect for herself than that. She knew that if a friend asked her advice for the same situation she would think they were an idiot. And she pointed this out to herself all the time to no avail. The pain was still present like an illness she couldn't break.

When Draco came she was tired, confused and hurt. _Severus had been nice to Ginny. He wants Ginny and he thinks I'm an idiot_. She was on her first break and she must have looked awful because Draco didn't make fun of her clothes or her hair. He pressed a little to find out what was troubling her but he gave up when she didn't budge.

"Have you thought about it?" Draco asked. He didn't sound interested so she knew that he was. Why did Slytherins have to play these games?

"Um…" Hermione looked around the large hall they stood in as if there would be some answer around her.

And then the owl flew toward her. The owl wasn't Harry or Draco's. Hermione's first thought was Ron, which was sort of ridiculous. Her mind was just expecting the worst.

_Ministry of Magic Department of Marriages_

Obviously her brain hadn't thought of the worst. She felt like she had just been handed her death sentence.

"I bet I can tell you what it says." Draco deadpanned.

Hermione opened it shakily. "I have one month."

"I guess this really improves my odds, here." Draco had the audacity to smile.

"How can they do this..." Hermione mumbled to herself, staring out down the hall. "This isn't right. We should have some rights or some sort of protection…"

Severus Snape was walking down the hall. He saw her and stopped, not looking at Draco. It was hard to tell from the distance between them but she thought he looked apologetic or concerned. Even at the flicker of hope that he wanted to talk to her she felt herself tighten up, anticipating-

"Severus!" Ginny was coming around the corner to talk to him. She didn't look particularly happy, just polite. It was actually a lot like how she approached him as the loathed professor. Severus looked away from Hermione, down at Ginny who stood beside him but not very close. Not any closer than Draco stood to her now. _Draco! _He was talking and she completely tuned him out. She looked back at him now, trying to gather what she'd missed.

"-then it would work out for both of us. We could remain friends and be safe from the ministry. We could build a relationship out of the friendship we already have. It could work." Draco was saying and looking down at Hermione.

"Alright." Hermione said in a small voice.

"You want to marry me?" Draco didn't look touched or happy, just confused.

"Yes. I think it's a good idea. I saw what Ginny had to agree to and I wouldn't want to be in that situation with just anybody. This way we won't have the ministry in our lives. We don't even have to do anything other than consummate the marriage and I could stay-" Draco pressed him mouth against hers. Even though it was unexpected and she had to resist the urge to push him away, it was a chaste kiss.

She just gave a short nod to him as if to confirm that what just happened was alright but she felt very doubtful. It was like she was living in a nightmare. Not because of Draco but because she had no control over anything.

She was tired of feeling helpless. She tried to look at this decision as her taking some control. So why did she feel so… lost?

"But we're still friends right? Right now?"

"Yeah." Draco smiled. "Friends and fiancés."

**Severus:**

Hermione walked into the classroom looking slightly confused to see him. He was standing away from the desk. She walked to it and set her bag down.

"I thought I would observe today. I want to see what happens." Severus said. When she only unpacked her books he pressed. "Is that alright with you, Hermione?"

"That's fine, Professor Snape." Her tone was pleasant but professional. He wasn't sure if she didn't call him by his name because students were going into the room or because she was absolutely furious with him.

Hermione gave the class the instructions to start preforming their confusing concoction. She walked around the class looking at their written theories. She stopped to talk to Miss Loll while she worked. Mr. Webber talked constantly. Mr. Frey said nothing and looked at Hermione too often. Hermione didn't look at Severus.

The class was a mixture of hufflepuffs and slytherin. The first part of the potion was easy and they finished quickly.

"You've successfully made confusion concoction. Now take out the same ingredients, add them to the preexisting potion and create felix felicis." Hermione walked back to the desk.

She was wearing a long pencil skirt and a white top. He wondered if she had dressed up for Draco and bit the inside of his lip.

He watched her walk around the room. The students were half way through. A few cauldrons looked like confusing concoction and a few looked like liquid luck. Three of them looked like dirty soup.

"Miss Granger." Eric Webber called.

Hermione made her way to the Webber-Frey workstation. Steam was coming out of Webber's cauldron. Hermione sighed and fanned it.

"Go get ginger root." She said to Webber. "Everyone else, keep working. Start preparing a vial for examination."

"Mr. Frey, we should-" Hermione was cut off by the cauldron exploding.

Severus moved through the smoke to help her but Liam Frey had shielded her. She was getting up off the ground. Pieces of glass from a broken vile had cut across her cheek. Liam Frey looked fine.

"Bloody hell!" Webber yelled after walking back in from the storage room.

"Class dismissed." Hermione coughed. "Leave your vial on your desk." Then she turned to Liam Frey, who was setting his vial down and getting his bag. "Thank you, Mr. frey."

Mr. Frey just nodded and shuffled out with everyone else.

"Com here." Severus said and pointed to a desk. Hermione leaned against it.

"I'm fine. I'll heal it when I leave." Hermione said but didn't protest when he pulled out his wand and took her chin in his thumb and forefinger. "I bet you think this is hilarious."

"You've had your first exploding cauldron. Now you're a real professor." Severus tried to smile at her but she just looked up at him with big, serious brown eyes. "We should celebrate."

"Why would I celebrate anything with you?"

"A wise witch once told me that friends fight."

"Is that supposed to pass for an apology?" Hermione asked. He should have known that the little witch would not let it go that easily. And she shouldn't. He had been completely awful.

Her face was so close to his. He had bent down to look at the cuts. They had healed but he didn't want to pull away. He didn't want to let go of her chin. Hermione's brown eyes looked away from his and rested on his lips.

He was aware that she expected him to say something. His fingers moved away from her chin, to her neck and he bent down to press his mouth against hers. He moved slowly and didn't hold her there. He was giving her the opportunity to move away, not because he would let her, he just wanted to know if she would try.

Hermione didn't move away from him. She met his mouth and had to arch her back so she could wrap her arms around his neck. She was soft and tasted like coffee with a lot is cream and sugar. His hands went to her small waist, gripping her hips and bringing her against him.

She made a soft, short, encouraging whimper but then she pulled away. Hermione shook her head a little and turned to the desk. She straightened her skirt as she walked.

"That shouldn't have happened." Hermione said as she picked up her bag. He wanted to stop her but he had been stunned. "I still expect an apology." Hermione said before she walked out the door.


	7. a confrontation

**A/N: A few reviews hinted that I might be doing something with the ministry having ulterior motives or purposefully keeping Severus and Hermione apart. I loved this theory so much that I sat down trying to figure out how I could incorporate a ministry conspiracy type theory. I've been writing this story as I go along, with just an idea of what I want to happen. I couldn't fit it in even though I thought it was really cool. I think there would have to be one person behind it pulling the strings and in this story there are no bad guys, I think they're all just victims of destiny (or the marriage law), trying to deal with what life throws at them. I just wanted to get this out of the way so no one would be disappointed later. Hope you like the new chapter! Also, there's some sexual content so be careful.**

**Post-explosion:**

L**iam Frey:**

Liam knew that Eric's cauldron was going to explode before Eric even called for Hermione. He moved slightly to let her stand between him and Eric. She smelt good. Even Professor Snape stared at her.

Liam's mind had fallen back to his latest fantasy. His father had tried to become a death eater, but since he was a drunk and pathetic they didn't even take him. He wasn't a powerful wizard. But in Liam's fantasy his dad had become a death eater. Voldemort won the war and Hermione was given to him as a sort of prize. In reality he knew this would never happen. She would have been killed for helping Potter. But this was his fantasy.

Liam looked at her pretty face. She had been plain at best when she was a student and he didn't think that she was particularly beautiful now. Hotter witches were trying to fuck him now. If he wanted, he could have most of the seventh years. His last conquest however had been a flirtatious forth year. She thought she was being bold. It irritated him. He ended up having the little slut suck him off. Younger girls were taboo so he usually took them up if they were willing. He made her gag a while before he got bored of her clumsiness and left her in the library.

Hermione he wouldn't get bored of. She just thought she was better than everyone. He was conflicted between wanting to see her face twisted in pain beneath him, begging him to stop, or seeing her whimper with delight. The ladder disturbed him. But there was a sort of novelty to her praise.

The cauldron exploded and she had moved to stand in front of him, her hand on his shoulder. Without any conscious thought he had turned her and gently covered her with his body, accidently knocking her to the floor. Her small frame was beneath him and she landed with a quiet 'huff'. He had stared down at her face, she had been hurt and he felt himself… worry. Her face was bleeding.

Her eyebrows were stressed down and her lids were shut. He knew he wanted to see her begging but not for mercy. He wanted her relaxed and happy in his arms. He wanted the mudblood.

He walked out of the classroom, vaguely aware that she thanked him. He had started to walk down the hall with Eric Webber.

"Do you think she's going to give me detention? She looked angry. If it were up to Snape I'd be cleaning cauldrons until I graduate. She knew it was an accident, right? I thought I put the ginger root in." Eric continued to ramble but stopped when Liam stopped walking.

"I have to go back. I forgot something." Liam said and turned away. Eric was used to Liam's general indifference toward his life and problems so he just nodded and walked away, looking for Lill.

"Is that supposed to pass for an apology?" It was Hermione's voice. She sounded weak and vulnerable but only because she was trying to sound cold and angry.

Liam didn't hear anything and moved to look inside the cracked door. He could see Snape's back. He was bending down over Hermione.

Liam smiled. She was going to punch him like she did that prat Draco. Why were these slytherin men attracted to her? Because she was strong and they wanted to dominate her. That had to be why Liam wanted her. He waited for her to push him back and yell. He'd walk in then and help her, again.

But then he watched her reciprocate the kiss. It was slow and intimate and obvious that this wasn't the first time they had done this. He had never seen Snape be so gentle with anything, even potions. Her small arms wrapped around his neck and she was pulling him closer to her, pressing against the desk for support. And then she broke away.

He ducked back behind the door because Hermione had moved away and was walking towards him. His face was burning and he felt himself taking long, harsh breaths, without understanding why. It was like his body started reacting to poison.

"That shouldn't have happened." Hermione said in a firm voice, still in the classroom but close to the door.

Liam could see Draco turn the corner and start walking toward him.

"You still owe me an apology." Hermione was walking past Liam now and he made sure not to look like he saw anything.

"Mr. Frey." Hermione looked slightly surprised. Her lips were rubbed red. Her eyes darted down the hall and then back to Liam. He thought she looked scared and she moved slightly like she was going to walk away from him but she stayed. He didn't move, he didn't want to leave her since she clearly didn't know what to do.

"I forgot you had class today." Draco sounded annoyed and didn't acknowledge Liam, he didn't care. "I've been talking to Poppy for almost an hour."

"You're exaggerating." Hermione sighed. Eric Webber was walking down the hall and gave Liam an impatient look but Liam wouldn't leave her with Draco. "This is Liam Frey, he's in my class."

"Is she horrible? It's okay, you can tell me. I'm her fiancé."

Liam stared at him for a moment and then looked at Hermione. From her face it was obvious that he had given away how long he had been standing outside the classroom. "She's not horrible."

"Smart answer." Draco said but he looked bored with this conversation. He turned back to Hermione. "You look worse than usual."

"Exploding cauldron." Hermione said, turning away as Webber came to stand next to him. "I'll see you both tomorrow." She said over her shoulder.

"I'm going to ask her if she wants to go with us to Hogsmeade." Eric Webber started talking. Liam knew that the 'she' in question was that ugly twat, Lill. "Then, after she accepts, you say that you're not going. Alright?"

Lill was walking up to them now. Liam was still looking at Hermione descend down the hall next to her _fiancé, _while he spoke to Lill. "Lill, do you want to go to the library with me?"

He looked at Lill. She was blinking like an idiot, which he assumed was natural since he had never spoken two words to her before. "Yes."

Liam didn't look back at Webber as he walked away with the ugly girl. He could have said that he did it for Eric's own good. That he shouldn't have been trying to date an idiot like her anyway. He could have made some justification but he didn't need to for his own conscience and Eric would get over it. Now he was going to relieve some of the tension and hostility he felt. Why would she fuck Snape or Draco? At least she liked Slytherin men…

**Hermione:**

Hermione walked with Draco to her room. It was strange having him there but Draco always seemed to act as if he belonged wherever he was and made himself at home on the edge of her small bed with the daily prophet in his hand.

"Draco." Hermione sighed and wiped her face with her hand. She was leaning against her closed door and trying to find the courage to say what she needed to. She couldn't tell him _who _she had just snogged in the potions lab and she had no idea what she would say to Ginny but she couldn't do nothing. She was a good person. She didn't do things like this. "I met someone. I feel like a complete arse but it isn't fair to you… We kissed and-"

"Do you love him?" Draco leaned forward putting his hands together and his elbows on his knees. He didn't look hurt, just a little… frustrated? And very serious.

"I don't know… Yes? It's complicated, obviously."

Draco looked relieved and sat back in his chair, going back to his place in the daily prophet. "Is he going to marry you?"

"No… He's engaged, actually."

This warranted a laugh from Draco and she could see him shake his blonde head behind the paper. "Then you're still in the same situation you were before. And we're still engaged. Stop kissing people."

"Don't you think that, me kissing someone else and you not caring about it, are both signs that we shouldn't be engaged?" Hermione asked.

"No. I think that you're starting to panic." Draco said matter-of-factly. "Don't be daft, this is a good idea."

"I like someone else." Hermione said. She felt like she was whining and all of this seemed ridiculous. "We can't get married."

"But he's engaged and you still have a month to find a husband –one that isn't already married." Draco sounded irritated. "So your point is irrelevant."

"It doesn't bother you?"

"I'm not in love with you Hermione. I love you, like a sister. This is a smart arrangement to protect both of us. You're attractive and I wouldn't object if one day we felt something more romantic but… So, no, I'm not _bothered_ by you snogging some married bloke."

"Engaged." Hermione corrected. _To my best-friend. _

"Right. I think it would be a good idea if we started dating. It would make the consummation less awkward. You know, if we worked our way up to it?"

Hermione put her hands on her face. Embarrassment, shame from what she had just done and a whole range of other emotions taking over. "I just don't think I can do this…"

"You aren't a virgin. I mean you and Ron…?" Draco asked, slightly smiling.

"No! Ron and I have slept together." Hermione sounded extremely offended but the truth was that she had only slept with Ron a few times and it was bloody awful. Draco nodded an apology. "I just… I mean I just snogged someone else and you're still talking about the wedding and dating..."

"I have to tell my mother that we're getting married –don't look at me like that, of course I have to tell her and we are still getting married. I want you to come with me." Draco smiled hopefully. He was being so understanding and it made her feel so much worse. Even if she didn't love or like him like that, it still wasn't right.

"Alright." Hermione sighed. She had some hope that Severus was going to break everything off with Ginny –if he could, which she wasn't sure about. Why did he kiss her? He had been so cruel that night in his office. Why did she kiss him back? She couldn't think about it with Draco here.

_Merlin, Liam knew and he was going to tell everyone… No. No more thinking about it._

"We need to send the documents in." Draco was glaring at Crookshanks –who was glaring back. "We should do it soon if you're going to be panicking and snogging everyone in sight."

Hermione looked at the documents he held as if they were snakes waiting to strike at her. As soon as she signed her name they would disappear with an audible 'pop' and be sent off, to be documented and everything would be finale. She had to talk to Severus first. "I just think we should wait-"

"ugh-" Draco was getting thoroughly annoyed with her not being on board for their marriage.

"-until we talk to our families." Hermione said. Draco was quiet for a moment and she knew what he was trying to find the words to say, _You don't have any family. _"I mean, you said you were nervous about talking to your mum, I'm sue she'd appreciate you talking to her _before_ you commit yourself –even just out of respect. And that will give me time to tell Poppy and Severus that I'll need time off to plan the wedding."

"I already told Severus and Poppy so-"

"Pardon?" Hermione swallowed.

"Poppy won't mind if you have to switch to nightshifts so you can do the wedding-"

"No, you already told Severus?" Hermione blinked at Draco. Severus kissed her knowing she had just accepted his godson's hand?

"Yes…" Draco raised an eyebrow. "He's coming with us to Malfoy Manor. I thought he'd help my mom… not kill me."

Hermione sighed. This trip involved a man she wanted to shag who was her best-friend's fiancé, her own arse of a fiancé, an uptight pureblood mother-in-law to be, and the possibility of mortal death. _Can't wait. _"Why did you ask me? You know all my reasons for accepting. Why did you ask me?" Hermione asked and Draco took on his serious face. One she didn't see every often.

"Last Christmas my family was driving me mad." Draco started. "We hung out because, well, you're pathetic and I knew that you'd be alone since you couldn't go to the Burrow."

Hermione nodded. She remembered the visit. He had ended up mooching off her and sleeping on her couch for three days. She had gotten ill and their Christmas dinner was really bad pizza –which Draco thought proved that muggles couldn't cook.

"You made me watch that horrible muggle show-"

"Doctor Who." Hermione corrected and Draco gave a wave of his hand in acknowledgement.

"-and we just sat around in our pajamas-"

"In my pajamas." Hermione laughed and Draco nodded. She had given him red sweatpants with pink kittens printed on them and he transfigured the pants so they would fit, he also turned them black.

"When I got my letter…" Draco raised a brow and shook his head. "I didn't want to go wife hunting and all my exes hate me. I thought about that Christmas, it was one of the best I ever had –except for the one where I lost my virginity."

"Naturally." Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I just figured this was safe."

Draco left after a while and she didn't want to be alone with her thoughts.

It was more than just an uncomfortably intense chemistry between her and Severus. That's what she had considered it for the past month. From the first day she taught potions. They had been flirtatious. She would stand closer to him than was necessary. She found excuses to touch him, brush against him when they walked together.

She had chided herself for liking him so quickly and with no encouragement but that wasn't true. Every time they were by one another they were on the verge of something… It was just undefinable. She should have told him straight out that night. She should have just kissed him instead of trying to sound like she was just trying to help him and Ginny. Of course it was easy to see that now, after that kiss.

Hermione went to open her door and Ginny was walking toward it. Guilt hit Hermione like a lightning bolt. Even if Ginny didn't, and could never, love Severus, he was still Ginny's fiancé.

"I saw Draco." Ginny said with a smile. "Any news?"

Hermione knew she was about to shock Ginny who didn't think her teasing question carried any weight. "Yes. We're getting married."

"Oh. Oh my. I mean… congratulations?" Ginny watched Hermione closely and she tried to smile.

"Thanks. I think it will work out. I mean, he's intelligent –just an arse- and this way we won't have the ministry in our business since we found one another independently. It could work. I think it will be alright. He's-"

"Calm down." Ginny laughed. Hermione felt so guilty. She had to get out of here. "Draco is intelligent and he's a good person –despite being horrible."

"We're going to start dating while we're waiting to get married. It's very strange." Hermione said.

"Could Severus and I come with you two?" Ginny asked. Hermione might have visibly flinched when Ginny called him by his name. _Well she couldn't call her husband 'Professor Snape'._

_Severus? Oh, you mean your fiancé that I snogged and nearly pushed to the floor and straddled. That Severus? What's that you said? Oh yes, I'm a horrible person._

"Yes but why?" Hermione asked.

"We should date too, I guess. Gods, I can't believe this is happening." Ginny shook her head as if to stop herself from getting worked up again. "It will be less awkward." _Doubt that._ "Because he likes you and Draco, at least he hates you less than most people. And you and I are friends."

"You're right. It will be fun." Hermione said. Was this how it was going to be? The rest of her life she would be married to Draco, probably living at Malfoy Manor, and their best friend couple would be Severus fucking Snape and Ginny? Panic ensued.

Hermione made her excuses and set out to find Severus. She had to know what was happening right now. She was going completely mad with all this uncertainty. A confrontation was in order.

**Severus:**

When Severus had made the decision to completely ruin Hermione's engagement he was planning on doing so, still believing that he had ruined everything between them. He didn't think there was any chance she would want him after the things he said. When Draco said he was marrying her, he knew he had to sabotage the wedding without knowing what he was going to do after that was accomplished.

Kissing her in the potions class had not been part of his plan. His plan evolved beyond just sabotage after the kiss. But another rash act like that could ruin everything.

Hermione was annoyingly moral, or at least she tried to be. Right now she probably felt guilty, that wasn't an emotion that he wanted her to associate with him. She was probably excusing Draco for his dunderhead behavior _because_ she felt guilty. Again, not what he wanted.

No, this had not been his plan at all but he didn't regret the kiss. She was so soft, so perfect and she had wanted to kiss him. She had pulled him to her. She had left him completely stunned and blinking like an idiot.

He couldn't think of it until he was in bed tonight. He was trying to think beyond how to get her to kiss him again. He was capable of seeing further into the future than just immediate gratification. He had to deal with what he thought of as 'the Malfoy-Weasley problem'. He wouldn't lose resolve and bend her over a desk in some passionate rage. That was ridiculous.

Hermione wasn't an idiot. He had to be careful. He was going to have to apologize. Hermione belonged to him and it was going to take some finesse to show her that. Finesse he had, when dealing with potions, spying, battling and scaring children. He did not, it seemed, have finesse in dealing with Hermione Granger. He just had to look at this like the next challenge before him. The Granger situation.

As he began to think of how to move forward there was a banging on his study door. He knew it was her. No one else had the gull to attack his door like that and at this hour. He walked to it, ready to open the door and have a serious conversation. He decided that he was going to be Gryffindor honest. Answer and ask questions bluntly. That would win points with her. Sometimes using the truth was the best manipulation and there was no more room for misunderstandings.

He opened the door with a ready smirk and the girl pushed passed him. Walking straight into the room and he had to resist the urge not to scold her. With a less ready smirk, he turned to her.

"Please come in, Hermione. Make yourself at home."

"I want an apology, Severus. And an explanation. Are you marrying Ginny? Because you shouldn't just go walking around, kissing other people if that is the case. I'd expect much better behavior from you. What am I supposed to say to Ginny? And you knew I was engaged to Draco when we kissed! He told me you're going with us to Malfoy Manor?"

He couldn't help but smile even in his confusion. She looked completely unembarrassed or frazzled by her rant. Usually when she went on one of these verbal rampages with him she'd look apologetic afterwards. Right now she just looked like a powerful angry witch.

"I'm sorry that I kissed you-"

"That wasn't the apology I was asking for but since you said it, are you sorry? Do you regret it?"

"No." He said firmly and waited for that to sink in. Her anger seemed to dissipate slightly so he took his opportunity to walk closer to her. He hoped she didn't regret it either. "Then I'll give you the apology you came down here for. I thought you were worried about Ginny. I had thought that you… cared –somewhat- for me…" Severus lifted his eyes to hers and she gave a nod that gave him the courage to go on. "But I knew that you didn't want to marry me. I got offended and tried to hurt you –something that I never want to happen again."

"Thank you. I know that you are guarded and defensive. That being said, I will not cater to your insecurities –I respect you too much. I'm going to be understanding about what happened because I know that things in your past have hurt you. But I do not pity you and I will not make excuses for your bad behavior in the future." Hermione said all of this very decidedly. He knew that she was choosing her words wisely and had thought about this at length. He wouldn't interrupt her. He had to let her know that he respected what she said. "I don't want you to try and hurt me like that again. I respect myself too much. And you're wrong. I did want to marry you. I do. I mean the entire marriage law is ridiculous and this is not how I would have wanted to get married but…"

Severus nodded. The circumstances were ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as hearing her say she wanted to marry him. He was torn between confusion and rage. If what she said was true and he could be engaged to her right now…

"You want to marry me?" Severus tried not to sound as cynical as he felt. "I can't imagine Draco's happy about that."

"Draco and I are friends. I got my letter from the ministry the other day." Hermione didn't notice Severus' stare at her. She was going to have to marry someone. "He had already received his. We thought we'd take matters into our own hands. If you could end your engagement with Ginny then I will end mine with Draco."

"Why don't you end it now if you don't care about him?" Severus was flattered and could still not believe that she would rather have him than Draco but he also felt extremely jealous. Hermione came here, ruining his plans of stealing her by claiming that she already wanted him. Now he was here, and he was still unable to have her because she was betrothed to his godson.

"Because I do care about him –as a friend and I would rather marry him than some random person the ministry picks." Hermione matched his clipped tone. It wasn't helping his jealousy. Her matter-of-factness about Draco or 'some random wizard' being allowed to touch her, hold her, kiss her- "He has less time than I do. I can't ask him to wait and see what will happen with you and Ginny. If you marry her there's no point for me not to marry Draco."

"I don't want to marry Ginny." Severus wasn't as brave as Hermione. He wanted to say that he wanted to marry her but he couldn't. Not yet and not when his hands were clenched into fists. Severus had been trying to get out of the marriage arrangement since he first received the news. After Hermione kissed him that afternoon, he spent his day researching the law and found nothing. Even if they hadn't signed the document, he would have had to fight this relentlessly without much to support his side. But hearing Hermione say that she wanted him, that she would chose him over Draco and everyone else… He wanted to believe it. "I'm not going to stop trying but right now, there doesn't appear to be another option."

"What if she found someone else? Have you talked to her?" Hermione seemed more upset now than angry and he closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her. When she relaxed into his embrace he exhaled the tension he felt pulling in his chest.

"Ginny talks about it like she is just accepting her fate but she's not happy."

Hermione pulled back a little and he brought his hands to his sides, wishing he hadn't reached out to her. "Please stop calling her that."

"What?" Severus looked down his large, misshapen nose at her.

"Ginny. Can't you keep calling her Miss Weasley or Ginevra?"

Severus tried to suck on his cheek so he wouldn't smirk. "You sound jealous."

"I _am _jealous." Hermione huffed as if he were the stupidest person she had ever met.

Severus, with a slightly inflated ego –or at least that's what he assumed the swell in his chest was since he didn't feel it very often- bent down and kissed the angry little witch. She kissed him ferociously.

Despite what many people believed, Severus was not a completely sexless dungeon bat. Especially after the war, he needed something to pass the time. The women he slept with were usually just curious acquaintances or the few women who thought he was a sad, misunderstood, war hero. He didn't care about any of them. He never dated because it was bad form to insult and scowl at your date.

Hermione, however, wasn't an acquaintance she was a friend. She didn't misunderstand or feel bad for him. In fact she informed him that he'd be held accountable instead of receiving pity. He cared about her in a way that frightened him and she didn't have any attributes that warranted insults.

So when she rushed her hands into his hair and bit his bottom lip he felt something unique to every other touch he ever had. Maybe that was even what he felt the first time she touched his arm. He lifted her by her waist and she wrapped her legs around his waist. She pulled back as he carried her to his room.

"I don't think we should do this." She sounded slightly panicked but her lips grabbed his again and he almost dropped her when his shin hit an end table. He felt her giggle into his mouth and any argument she had been trying to make, he thoroughly ignored.

Severus kicked his bedroom door shut and pulled away from her lips as he made his way to his bed.

"We shouldn't. Even if Ginny-"

Severus cut her off by touching her ear with her lips and whispering, "Hush." Hermione shivered and he thought it was the best thing in the world.

He dropped her on the bed and looked down at her. He felt completely shocked that she was looking up at him, biting her lower lip and smiling up at him. He wanted to smirk and look completely confident but he was in awe. He leaned down over her but not bringing his body down to hers. He pushed her hair back, off her face and traced her upper lip with his thumb. Her eyes closed.

"Why?" Severus asked.

Hermione didn't open her eyes and he felt warm breath pass over his thumb as she sighed. He could tell that she knew exactly what the question was and he was happy she wouldn't pretend not to know. "There are too many reasons. You're perfect."

"Perfect." He said and it must have been comically because she giggled. He leaned down and started leaving kisses on her collarbone.

"Well, you're perfect for me." Hermione was kissing his lips again and he let himself get lost in it.

They kissed for so long, stopping just to start again even more viciously. He had lied down on top of her and she had wrapped one of her legs around his waist. He wanted her more than anything. Some ridiculous part of his mind was telling him this wasn't the plan but he ignored it. Or he tried. He worried that he wasn't going to be able to stop and it was going to ruin everything.

He thought about this while he ripped opened her blouse and started kissing her chest. She moaned and he ripped her bra. He thought she made a frustrated noise and he mumbled into the valley of her perfect breasts, "It's alright, it was an ugly bra."

He could feel her laugh in her chest. The vibrations from it tickled his lips and he kissed her breasts, pulling the tiny pebbles of her nipples into his mouth. He remembered a conversation concerning her innocence and smiled by the way she repeated, "Oh," as if she had just been corrected. He tried not to smile smugly to himself. He gently nibbled her left nipple and she jumped at the sensation.

"Hermione…" Severus started as his hands slid down to her hips. Even in the dim light he could see how swollen and pink her lips were. Her eyes looked heavy and distant and her face was flushed. The combination was intoxicating and he pressed his hips down so she'd feel him.

"I want to, Severus, its okay." Hermione sounded so sweet and innocent. She started to lay sweet kisses on his neck. "Don't stop."

Severus leaned down to her ear and whispered through his smirk, "We haven't started and I wasn't going to suggest stopping."

They both heard banging on the study door. Hermione was scrambling out from beneath him and began to frantically smooth out her skirt. She looked a little silly because no matter how smooth her skirt was, her shirt and bra were still ripped opened and her perky breasts were completely bare. The sight almost made him forget there was some intruder.

"Severus?" Draco called from the other room. Hermione looked up at Severus, her face the image of guilt and shock as she covered her mouth with her had. What had he been saying about plans, instant gratification, and not wanting to push her? _Shit. _


	8. discretion

**A/N: This chapter is a bit angsty and there is sexual content. Let me know if you like the sexy time stuff because if you don't I need to censor coming chapters. Also, I hate to beg for reviews but feedback on this chapter would really help because I'm not sure if I like this one. Thank you so much for the reviews! Sorry this chapter took a little longer than the others, had computer issues but the next should be up very soon. Hope you like it!**

**Severus:**

Severus had Hermione in his room. She was beautiful and disheveled by his doing. Her hair was thick and soft and the curls were erratic. Her skin looked smooth and flawless in the dim light emanating from the small fire in his room. He had pictured her like this. He had imagined her lying on his bed, smiling sweetly at him. It should go without saying that he did not, however, fantasize about Draco Malfoy coming in to ruin the surreal moment between him and _his_ witch.

"Stay in here." Severus said to Hermione. She still looked panicked and covered her face with her hands but she nodded her head. Severus wanted to give her a reassuring kiss or touch but he was afraid she would become more upset. Instead of trying to fix his clothes and countenance he decided to pull his black house robe on over his clothes. He hoped that proper etiquette would force Draco to excuse himself once he saw he had woken Severus.

Draco was pouring himself a glass of firewhiskey. He was wearing black, fit robes and carried himself like a man instead of the shifty child Severus usually saw. He looked over his shoulder and gave a nod to Severus.

"What warrants this unexpected, late night visit?" Severus managed to sound concerned and not just irritated.

"I don't know what to do." Draco was saying. "It's Hermione."

"Can we talk about this tomorrow?" Severus was glancing back at his bedroom door.

"No." Draco said dismissively and sat down. "I'm busy tomorrow. Hermione snogged some bloke. You're supposed to guide me or something." A wave of his hand somewhat in Severus' direction. "Guide."

Severus cringed at the way his godson spoke and imagined Hermione did too since she could probably hear him. Draco sat in front of him and he wondered if he should feel guilty. The emotion completely escaped him. Severus didn't feel like Draco had any right to Hermione.

"Well…" Severus mumbled. "You had mentioned that she assaulted you the first time you proposed. Maybe you should find a more willing fiancé."

Draco snorted and Severus wondered if he had been drinking prior to showing up. Draco rested his head against the chair, looking up at the high ceiling. He looked young. He looked miserable and tired at the moment but he was still younger than Severus and much more handsome. He had always had his Malfoy good looks and in the last two years of his attendance at Hogwarts, Severus had noticed the attention he'd gained from the female students. Why would Hermione choose him over Draco? In that moment, his nose felt a little bigger than usual.

"I want to marry her. It's pathetic. She all but begged to get out of the arrangement." He waved his hand clumsily. "Why does she have to be so bloody difficult?"

"I don't think we should talk about this now." Severus said. He knew that Hermione would feel even worse for hearing a conversation about herself that she wasn't supposed to. Especially one being held between her fiancé and her… _what was he? Lover? _Hermione would feel bad for Draco, she was too good. "We'll talk tomorrow, when you don't stink like butterbeer and whiskey."

Draco touched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. "I'm taking Hermione to dinner tomorrow. You should come."

Severus didn't know if Hermione would want him to. He also wanted to know if she had accepted Draco's invitation to dinner or if he was simply going to take her out tomorrow. If they had made plans for tomorrow why had she come to him? He realized that he and Hermione, besides knowing how they felt about one another, still stood in the exact same place they did before she came there. He felt like they had had some breakthrough but they were both still trapped.

"I heard you were engaged to marry a Weasley. You could bring her too."

"Yes, we're all suffering from the law I suppose. Molly Weasley as a mother-in-law…" Severus didn't want to comment on the dinner until he talked to Hermione.

Draco laughed and wiped his face. Severus hoped that Draco pulling out of his brooding meant he'd make his exit and leave. "I don't think they're that bad –I wouldn't tell anyone else that. Ginny's smart –smart enough to dump Potter, at least. And her family is big so you can just hide somewhere unnoticed when you have to see them. They all love one another and it's all sickeningly affectionate and emotional. And Molly!" Draco was rambling now and it made Severus realize that his godson wasn't very different from Hermione. Hopefully this was just a side-effect of his drunkenness. "She's so overprotective. I wouldn't be surprised if she wanted to be there for the wedding night."

Severus winced. "I'm sorry, was the purpose of your inebriated rant supposed to make me feel better?"

"Yeah, at first." Draco laughed. "But you're right. It's going to be horrible."

Draco could be considered charming when he laughed. It reminded Severus of Lucius but kinder and Draco was much more humble.

"Do you love Hermione?" Severus asked.

"I could. I know I could." Draco sighed, becoming serious again instantly. He was quiet for a moment and then he said, "I respect her."

"You should go sleep this off." Severus said and stood.

"Can't I sleep here?" Draco said looking around and settling his gaze on the small couch. "I thought-"

"No." Severus said and set his hand on his godson's shoulder. He walked him out and then walked back to his bedroom.

**Draco:**

It felt good to be at Hogwarts. It would have felt better if the bloody walls could stop teetering back and forth. Draco leaned against the stone wall in the dungeon hall. The cool stones felt better, grounded him. He drank too much but he had been rattled.

He was doing Granger a favor –_that was an incredibly narcissistic thought, _he told himself. But it was true. Hermione could be given to some Dark Lord supporter. The aristocrats still had firm hands on the Ministry and many pure bloods didn't care for Hermione Granger. If he were being honest with himself he thought it would make him feel better too. He had to do a lot of less than decent things when he was made a death eater…

His hand shook and he had to squeeze his eyes shut tighter.

They were dark times that Hermione helped him forget and he thought that helping her could be some sort of retribution.

She had become his friend and he'd be damned if he let something happen to her. He had been mildly stunned that Harry or Ron didn't step in to help her. Did they not see that possibility or did they not care? It didn't seem like Hermione thought about it but it seemed like she tried to think about the entire thing as little as possible. But it was a good situation and one that helped both of them and they were friends.

"So what's the bloody problem?" Draco muttered.

"Excuse me?"

Draco's eyes opened and he was somewhat sobered by being thrown off guard. He exhaled when he saw Ginny. She was wearing her school uniform and smirking up at him as she walked closer and stopped. He hadn't seen her at the last few order meetings and wondered if it was because of Harry. What she ever saw in him, he'd never know. Apart from the fame of being 'the boy who lived' _to be a classless arse. _

"Just indulging in some drunken musings. Were you going to see Severus?"

Ginny blushed high on her cheeks, it made her cheekbones look like apples and her eyes jumped down to her feet. Gryffindors, it was like using legilimency. They were so obvious, it was one thing he liked about Hermione. It made her easier to deal with when he didn't have to guess at everything she said.

He assumed Ginny was embarrassed that he knew she was marrying his godfather. As far as he knew they were trying to keep it quiet from the rest of the school. He didn't know why except neither of them probably wanted to acknowledge this was actually happening. Ginny wouldn't, how could she? She was beautiful, Draco had resented her before for her affiliations but he couldn't deny that seeing her look all prim and proper in her uniform… He shouldn't think that.

_Why not? Hermione snogged some married bloke, you're just looking at a pretty girl in a skirt._

"I wanted to talk to him before you all left for the weekend."

"We're leaving next weekend, actually. And he's in a mood, shoved me out in my vulnerable state." Draco said as he turned, hoping she would walk with him. "You should come with us next weekend." He decided to help them and himself. They needed to get along and Draco needed Hermione to behave. She might be more relaxed with her friend there.

"I don't know…" Ginny said but was walking with him.

"You would actually let Hermione go to Malfoy Manor _alone _with two Slytherins and my mother? Ginevra Weasley, I'm shocked at you."

"Fine." Ginny laughed. "You're marrying my best-friend so I might as well get used to seeing you."

"She told you that you were her best-friend?" Draco said in mock surprise and looked down at her. Her green eyes looked up at him innocently. Hermione would have known he was joking by now. "That's adorable."

"You think you're Hermione's best-friend?" Ginny said, she set a hand on her hip.

"Obviously. Don't fret, though. Once we're married I'll let you be her best friend."

"How kind of you." Ginny laughed. "Maybe we should corner Hermione tomorrow and demand to know who her _real_ best-friend is."

"See, if you were her best-friend you would see there are two flaws with that plan." Draco had stopped walking and they were standing, looking at one another. "You don't corner Hermione into anything."

"And the other flaw?" Ginny asked, taking the bait.

"Imagine what it would do to her ego if she knew we were fighting over her? I can't have that."

They both laughed and then Ginny sighed, looking like she remembered to be sad. Draco used to be annoyed by her happy, bossy, Mollyish behavior but he liked this less. It was like she was just quietly resigned to being unhappy. He wouldn't pretend not to know why.

"So, have you set a date for the wedding?" Draco asked. Her green eyes were looking somewhere over his shoulder and she shook her head.

"I know I should be rushing about, trying to get everything sorted but…" Ginny just shook her head a little and looked up trying to smile. "You're lucky you got to pick who to marry."

"Yes, well, it's a safe arrangement." Draco nodded at his comment. He wouldn't joke when she looked so vulnerable just a moment before. He'd have to tell Hermione to talk to her.

Ginny laughed a little and he was thrown off, wondering what she thought was funny. Instead of feeling angry he was only a little insecure. He shifted his weight but when she looked at him he could tell she didn't mean anything malicious by it.

"I always wanted to marry for safety." Ginny said, sarcastically. "Forget all that love rubbish."

Draco rolled his eyes and took her arm in the crook of his. "I'll walk you back to your room before your fiancé takes away all your house points."

He was relieved when she laughed. Ginny was pretty and made him uncomfortable but only because he and Ron had a difficult relationship. And he was basically disliked by all of her other friends and family as well. He didn't know what she thought about him but he couldn't help but think he had made her feel better even if it was only for a few moments.

Why didn't Hermione have to wear one of those uniforms anymore? He wondered if she still had it. She wouldn't. That's why he liked Hermione. Unlike girls like Ginny –girls he didn't know- he knew exactly what to expect from Hermione. It wasn't love yet but it was familiar. _Safe _and as much as Ginny laughed at his reasoning, it was still important to him.

**Hermione:**

Hermione had listened to the conversation between Severus and Draco. She had been tempted to walk out there. She felt like a coward hiding in Severus' bedroom. The fact that she had to hide proved how wrong this was.

And even in all this wrongness her skin hummed. She felt like she was floating.

_Hush, _she had come undone when he whispered to her. He was thin but he held her up so easily. He was playful, strong, delicate and rough all at the same time and she had never wanted someone so badly. He made her such a mess. She had to fix her shirt and bra and it took her several attempts before she had enough concentration to properly work her wand.

While she waited she was able to look at her surroundings. She had been in his study before and wondered what his bedroom looked like. It wasn't that different from his small study. When she was a child she had expected it to be drab and cold. When she had gotten older she imagined a vast library against the walls that went from floor to ceiling with a large four poster bed and fireplace. The reality was somewhere in the middle. It was modest, a small space and a small bed. He had books but there was only one bookshelf. On the nightstand by his bed were two books and three empty cups. There was a half empty ashtray on the floor and a small fireplace with a chair placed in front of it with a black blanket. The room smelt like him. She lied down on the bed and felt it sink in the middle where he probably slept the most. It was only slightly bigger than her own bed and would just be enough room for both of them to sleep comfortably. She wondered if he had another home. Where did he stay during the summer? Would she ever get to see it –not as a guest of Ginny's?

By the time Severus walked back in Hermione had decided not to let this go any further. They couldn't do anything until they knew what their fate was. She was going to fight this… But she had listened to him talk calmly about Ginny and even though he didn't sound in anyway excited, he definitely seemed to think that was what was going to happen. Hermione felt her eyes tearing but shook her head firmly.

Severus walked in the door. She closed the distance between them and hugged his waist, because she wanted to feel him and also because she didn't know what to say. She felt him sigh and that seemed to make her feel infinitely better. His arms came around her and she felt his chin on her head.

"We didn't really talk about what we were going to do before…"

"Before you dragged me into your room and ripped off my clothes?" Hermione asked cheekily and smiled into his chest when he gripped her a little firmer.

"Yes." Severus agreed with her and pulled back enough to look down at her. "You're not upset?"

"I felt ridiculous hiding but I couldn't go out there and confess that we were in the middle of a scandalous affair and demand that he leave so we could finish, now could I?" Hermione smiled at him and Severus looked genuinely shocked. She took her opportunity to ask her question, hoping that he'd be too shocked to train his facial reaction. "You sounded like you were resigned to marrying Ginny."

"I don't want to. I told you that." Severus said and she could see the truth of it. Why did he make her so insecure? "What are you doing here, Hermione? Don't tell me I'm perfect again." Severus asked seriously and she had the urge to kiss all his doubt away because she knew he was nearly incapable of taking what she said positively. "Draco is young and handsome and I'm… not. I've been cruel and difficult. I won't make you happy."

Hermione thought about asking him if he were trying to say she should be with Draco but he wasn't a frivolous man. He wouldn't ask such a vulnerable question if he didn't want a real answer. She was trying to work through her words so she wouldn't ramble. She knew she could give a million reasons why she only wanted him. But she wanted to give one powerful answer. "I won't say that you don't make me doubt myself because you do, you push me and when I'm with you… It's the only time I feel alright about not knowing what's going to happen. You make me completely irrational. I need you. Only you."

Hermione let him look in her eyes because he looked like he was trying to find something there. She would have let him use legilimency because she needed him to know she wasn't lying. But he didn't try to enter her mind, his black eyes bore into hers and they looked ominous because of the way the fire reflected and flickered in them.

Slowly and with very little confidence she tilted her head to kiss him. He kissed her again and she let him hold her tightly. She didn't throw her arms around him or push him to do anything. She felt like he was claiming her. And she desperately hoped that's what it was. She would only ever want to be claimed by him. When they broke apart he rested his forehead on hers and he brushed his thumb over her cheek. She felt cherished and it made her lightheaded.

"What are we going to do?" Severus asked, his voice was so low and soft.

"I don't want to let you go." Hermione set her hands on his waist. In this position she found it the most comfortable to stare down at the space between their chests.

"Then we fight." Severus asked.

"I think we should talk to Albus before we go to the ministry." Hermione said and Severus nodded. She knew that he respected the headmaster. Respected and trusted. Hermione still wasn't sure how to trust Dumbledore because he never seemed to tell her everything and always left her with more questions. But she knew he was good and hoped he would care enough to give them advice. "But we can't be together until this is sorted."

Hermione felt him shift and become stiff. She closed her eyes, wishing that he'd come back to her even though he was still holding her in his arms. He kissed her forehead and let go of her. She knew she had to leave but almost couldn't bring herself to physically move. She couldn't walk back to her room. She couldn't walk out the door.

"Tomorrow we'll talk to Albus."

"And hopefully the trip to Malfoy Manor will be canceled by dinner." Severus said but he didn't sound hopeful.

The room was heavy with what they weren't saying and the small reassurances they had given each other felt silly and untrue.

They looked at one another and her heart broke because she knew they were both thinking the same thing. Many people have already tried to fight the marriage law, people in higher positions than them, and failed. They were more than likely going to be forced into marriages.

Hermione almost wished that they each were going to be in unhappy marriages. That their spouses would be so awful that she could feel right in having a lifelong affair with him if that's how it had to be. But she knew that Ginny was good and so was Draco.

"If you care about me –someone you hated a few years ago- I'm sure you'll learn to love Ginny." Hermione said. She was recalling all of the things he had said when she had proposed. He took her in his arms again and held her tightly. When she didn't respond he held her chin with his index finger and thumb, tilting her up to look at him. She hated that her eyes were shinning with tears.

"I won't."

"You should." Hermione said with sadness she didn't think she was capable of. "I want to say that I want you to be happy –that you deserve happiness…"

"I don't want you to be happy with Draco." Severus said. He looked down at her with creased eyebrows and she thought that when he looked at her like this, so vulnerably, she knew she loved him. Even if she obliviated herself to escape the pain… She would feel it. The very things that made her body run, her bones, her muscles, her blood and her magic would always remember, even when she couldn't.

When they started kissing again it was completely different than the first time they had stumbled into his room, kissing and giggling. The tension remained so thick and neither of them spoke as Severus ripped her clothes a second time.

He had scooped her into his arms and placed her on the bed beneath him. She was afraid to have their mouths separate. She wanted to feel his hands and skin. She knew that everything was still so uncertain at this point, anything they said, even if they meant it, didn't matter. Any words or promises would only make it hurt worse. She didn't want to think about their situation.

Severus must have felt her desperate need for distraction or he was just consumed with his own. When their mouths did finally end the demanding kiss he bit her neck. She gasped, inhaling the sharp cold, dusty air. He kissed and sucked his way down her chest. She was going to lean forward and tell him to stop. No matter how good his mouth felt on her burning flesh, she didn't want it at that moment. All she wanted was for him to take her, to claim her. She needed to belong to him not bound by some law. She leaned forward to tell him, beg him, to take her but he already knew.

Severus was kicking off his pants so he could be as naked as she was. She wanted to touch and caress his scars but now wasn't the time. A pain swelled in her chest when she wondered if she would ever get another opportunity. The thought left her when Severus reached between them so he could press himself against her entrance. Hermione jumped slightly when she felt him and he smirked down at her.

She brought her hand up to his jaw. Severus caught the back of it and kissed her palm as he pushed into her. It was painful but delicious. He closed his eyes and stopped, she knew he was trying not to hurt her. She was so afraid of never feeling him again that she lifted her hips, pushing hard onto the pain, taking all of it and trying to remember every detail, every twitch.

Severus groaned and came down to kiss her. Wordless moans of pleasure escaped her lips the entire time they were joined. She kissed his lips, his neck his wrist and shoulders. Anything she could and he did the same. That cherished feeling was back but it was sad too. She didn't want to think about how much it felt like they were both saying goodbye to something that had only just started.

Severus found a spot that made her scream louder and pushed into it repeatedly. Hermione arched her back, surrendering to the pleasure he was pulling out of her and digging her nails into his back, trying to keep him, mark him as hers. His breath was getting shorter and she knew he was being pushed over that same edge.

He brought his hand down between their joined bodies and brushed his thumb against her clit. His thumb's gentle, small touches were such a contrast to his manhood pounding into her but they worked at the same time and she was writhing beneath him. Severus looked down at her, his brows brought down together, his expression was beautiful. Something between, admiration and concern and he watched her face with his black eyes and hair falling in front of his face. He kissed her again as they came together.

Severus collapsed gracefully against her, laying his head against her shoulder. She bent down and softly kissed one closed eye and the bridge of his nose. They held one another in silence until both had caught their breath and they were lying side by side in a tight embrace.

"We can't do this again until we fix everything." Hermione said, hoping, praying that they could fix everything. Neither one of them could believe there was another option. Not now. They couldn't let doubt get in their way. "It's not fair to them."

"I know." Severus held her a little closer but then he was moving off the bed. "We need to talk to Albus."

"Now?"

"Yes, Hermione." Severus said in a very Snape like drawl which made her laugh considering what just happened and the fact that he wasn't wearing a shirt and his pants were unbuttoned.

They got dressed but the exertion of energy and the satisfaction of it had made them both more lighthearted and hopeful. When she was ready he took her hand with his confidently and laced their fingers together. She felt herself blush at the innocent display of affection. They walked through the halls holding hands and smiling like love-struck fifth years.

It wasn't until they reached Albus' office that her nerves turned on her. She felt Severus give her hand a supportive squeeze with his and she looked up at him and nodded before he knocked on the headmaster's door.


	9. Discussions

**A/N: This is my first go at a story instead of a one shot and I really appreciate you guys taking the time to review. Especially the last chapter because I wasn't that confident with the way it went. I agree with the person who said I rushed them into it but I had kinda justified it to myself that people do stupid things when they're passionate. Also, I kinda wanted to set an awkward aftermath tone for the following chapters. I **_**really**_** appreciate the help! Hopefully this one gets things back on track. Sorry the update took so long but they next one is coming very soon. The story is getting really close to being wrapped up.**

**Also, this chap is kinda angsty too but it all is working toward something. Next one is coming very soon. **

**Severus:**

Severus felt frightened for the first time in a long time. He had done many things in his years as a death eater and spy. The outcome- if things went poorly- was always death or Azkaban. These consequences almost meant nothing considering how much time he had to get used to them. He didn't care because either seemed inevitable.

But loving someone… The last time he thought he loved someone she chose someone else. She left with one of his enemies and was killed by his master. He had a lot of time to think about all the events that lead to both of those events and had considered them the biggest tragedies in his life.

Hermione wanted him, chose him, and was going to fight for _him. _She was his. There was an understanding between them that went beyond anything he had ever felt with anyone. His love was returned and she wasn't in danger of being taken away because she helped destroy Voldemort.

So why was he more terrified now? Why did this feel like it was working up to be an even bigger tragedy? Loving someone who could never love you back was painful. Could he survive losing someone that did?

Part of him -his survival instinct- told him to let her go. Draco was the better man. She was too young and he was too bitter. But he couldn't. Not now.

He looked down at her. She was so beautiful, even in the dimly lit halls. He couldn't believe that he was here, with her. He felt invincible. He was completely corrupted by their coupling. Altered. She gave herself to him. Was wet and whimpering _for him_. Albus, the ministry and magic itself couldn't take that feeling away from him.

Standing with Hermione's soft hand in his felt right. She made him feel like he needed to be strong and good. He needed to deserve his witch. He almost didn't care about any of the problems trying to impose on their lives. Holding her hand, he almost couldn't remember why it wasn't right for him to want Hermione. To have Hermione. But he also knew that he couldn't think properly around her. That was almost uncomforting, knowing he couldn't trust his own council in the slightest.

But there was a part of him that was frightened of disappointing Albus. He respected him above everyone else. He wasn't going to relish revealing that he had let himself fall in love with a former student but he knew Albus. He had already confronted Severus about feelings he barely knew he had. Albus knew already.

And what was the difference? Hermione was older than Ginevra and no longer a student. In comparison she was a more appropriate companion for him –though not by much. It was alright for him to be forced into a marriage he didn't want with a young woman but to willingly want a different young woman was wrong?

His nerves were getting the better of him. His thoughts were going in too many directions instead of focusing on what he needed to say to Albus.

And he was waiting in the office, standing by Minerva. A very angry, tightlipped Minerva. She was staring at Severus like he had just murdered an infant in front of her. It was harsh but not altogether unfamiliar and he smirked at her. _Probably not a smart idea._

"How could you?" Minerva spat out.

"Good evening, Minerva." Severus said and felt Hermione warningly squeeze his hand.

"Good evening." Albus said with a twinkle in his eye that reassured Severus he wouldn't let Minerva attempt to mortally wound him.

"May I speak to Hermione alone?" Minerva asked.

Hermione looked up at Severus and he squeezed her hand. She looked appreciatively up at him as if she were pleased with his encouragement. Later he'd have to tell Hermione that it was only because he was frightened of Minerva and wanted her to go away. He smirked at the thought of Hermione's face when she pretended to be vexed with him.

The women walked out of the room and Albus let out a deep breath. Apparently Severus wasn't the only one who wanted to be away from Minerva.

"I foolishly expressed some concerns to Minerva and she demanded to be here." Albus shook his head. "Lemon drop?"

Severus waved his hand to dismiss the sour treat. "How did you know we were going to come here tonight?"

"Let's not insult one another. Let us skip to the matter at hand –I would like to get some sleep tonight and I foresee a heated argument from Minerva later." He waved his hand at the chair in front of his desk and it moved out for Severus to sit in.

He took the chair and decided how to move forward in the conversation. "I won't be torn from Hermione. You know the complications. How should I move forward with escaping my inconvenient engagement to Miss Weasley?"

"You need to talk to the caseworker that the ministry has provided for you. I think you know that, Severus. You need to go and communicate with _them_."

"I've tried." Severus said.

Albus paused and Severus knew that he was searching for the right way to press on. "There is nothing I can do. The ministry is in a very fragile state since the war. I don't have any pull there and I don't want to get involved but… I don't believe that you came here for my assistance."

"No?" Severus was sure that the only thing that could make him willingly leave his bed while his beautiful witch was lying with him was the desire to make sure he could keep her there.

"You want my blessing."

Severus snorted but felt foolish. He did want his blessing. When he touched Hermione, nothing felt more pure or natural but there was still the voice in his head, making him feel guilty. "So, do I have it?"

Albus stood and clasped his hands behind his back. "I want your happiness. I think that if the circumstances were different Hermione could make you very happy. I admire her greatly."

"And that's why we're here, asking for help to change our circumstances."

"You're here because you want me to tell you what you're doing isn't wrong. It is. The age difference might not matter later but she's too young now. She doesn't know where she wants to go. Her path –similar to your own- is still undecided."

"Hermione is brilliant. She could do whatever she wants." Severus swallowed back the lump in his throat. He hadn't realized how badly he wanted the old nutter to approve of this, of him.

"Do you think she wants to be a healer or a potions mistress?"

"No." Severus admitted. She was more than competent in either field but held no passion for it. Hermione would become bored. "But she could do whatever she wanted."

"But she won't leave if she has something to stay for. I believe she only came back because the war left her so shaken-"

"You greatly underestimate her."

Albus smiled and Severus wondered if he was being tested somehow. He shifted uncomfortably and consciously scowled.

"There are times where we must ask ourselves if we're doing the right thing for those we care about. Our reflections may not always be what we wish to see."

Severus felt a coldness slip into his chest and stay there. He knew that Albus was trying to prepare him for the inevitable. He knew where his words were leading but he thought of Hermione. She wouldn't let him push her away for her own good, at least not easily. But it didn't matter. He wouldn't do it.

"I think when someone's truly in love they don't care at all about what's right."

"You generalize, my boy. You don't care what's right when you're in love. Others react differently. What will Hermione's reaction be when she learns of what the consequences may be?"

"I love her." Severus could admit this to Albus, what he hadn't even confessed to Hermione.

"Then don't ask her to condemn you. You know what will happen if the ministry finds out you've broken your contract. She'd never forgive herself."

Severus wanted to say that he underestimated Hermione again. She wasn't one to give up. She wouldn't roll over and surrender. Would she? He loved her so fiercely but she was young and didn't know what she wanted to do. Maybe she didn't know if she wanted him.

"Severus," Albus said, bringing him back. "Your magic is drawn to one another. I can see it. I don't doubt that she cares very deeply for you."

Severus thought he might yell at the older wizard. What was the point in telling him that, if he was asking him to give her away? He wanted to ask this and more but the noises from the other room became louder. What had only been slightly raised voices before, was yelling now. He knew it was Hermione, though he couldn't hear what she said.

"Should we go in?" Severus asked, standing.

"Attempt to separate two arguing Gryffindor women?" Albus asked and Severus felt some of his nerve faltering at the idea. "You've always been brave, my boy."

"So we wait?" Severus asked.

"You go back to your room. This is going to take a while and probably a few calming draughts. Hermione will have much to consider. Not to fear, Severus. Go to bed, talk to her tomorrow. Think on what I've said."

**Hermione:**

"May I speak to Hermione alone?" Minerva asked no one in particular and Hermione followed her out of the room. If she hadn't looked like she wanted to lay a few unforgiveables on Severus, Hermione would have been relieved to see her.

Minerva wasted no time.

"Hermione, if you two cared for one another why did he sign the marriage contract to Ginevra Weasley? You two could have confronted the Ministry then."

"We hadn't discussed exactly how we felt… it was just all so rushed because of him being forced into that marriage. It has to be broken off."

"And you are engaged to Draco Malfoy?"

"I'm… yes but I'm going to tell him that I can't. It was just because I received my letter. It's all because of the bloody marriage law-"

Minerva held up her hand. "It appears that this development has happened very quickly and I can't help but worry that you don't know exactly what you're getting yourself into."

Hermione felt a flicker of hope. She suspected that Minerva could help and if the only thing keeping her from doing so were reservations about the match, Hermione knew she could change her mind. "I'm aware that he has a lot of emotional damage. I don't care. I love him."

Hermione couldn't believe how easy it was to say that she loved him. He was strong, noble, brave, intelligent and she loved him.

Minerva looked at her with a sympathetic smile and tired eyes. "He's not a mistreated house-elf, Hermione. He had become a death eater of his own free will. He's spent nearly his entire life consumed with hate and resentment. That sort of torment stains your soul."

"Draco Malfoy took the mark. How is he any better?"

"No one forced you to accept Mr. Malfoy." Minerva reminded her coldly and Hermione looked down at her hands. "And Draco is injured –though he tries to hide it. The war has not left him unscathed and he needs someone who will take care of him. Someone who is honest and stern, like you. Ginevra is respectful and wise for her age, shell be able to deal with Severus and have the opportunity to continue with her education. I agree with both matches."

"But Severus and I _want_ to be together."

"That's worse. If he is obligated to marry Ginevra, I have no doubt that he'll fulfill his duties. I do not, however, expect anything other than pain to come from a passionate arrangement. Last year you two were enemies, last month you mere acquaintances, in less than a week, you two have gotten engaged to other people, and became lovers. Tell me, what will you two be tomorrow? And now you stand here before me, demanding me to assist in the demise of one of my favorite students."

"I hardly think this would be Ginny's demise. She doesn't even want to marry him! She could be settled with anyone else and it would be better. She could still go to school." Hermione felt like she was on the verge of whining and tried to calm herself.

"I meant your demise, Hermione. I care about you –and Severus, of course. But he's not something you can save." Minerva was nearly pleading.

"I don't want to save him and he doesn't need it. I'm not some foolish girl that thinks she can fix everything. I'm insulted that you'd think that."

"You have to admit that everything about this is foolish! To say this relationship is unstable is an understatement. You're just a child." Minerva was holding her chest and Hermione felt her face move into one of Severus' scowls.

"I'm not."

"Why did you agree to marry Draco? Poppy told me you agreed the same day Severus signed his contract. Was it a sound, rational decision or were you acting impulsively because you were jealous?"

Hermione felt tears in her eyes and blinked them back. "It wasn't jealousy… I just thought he didn't want me and…" Her thoughts caught up to her and she shook her head to clear any doubt. "I received my letter from the ministry that day. That's why I agreed. To take matters in my own hands. Which is what I'm doing now. Can you help me or not?"

"Help you bind yourself to a death eater? A damaged, selfish fool?"

"He's no fool. He's been hurt and I've made peace with that."

"Have you?" Minerva asked in a clipped tone. "Maybe you just choose not to think about it. I wonder sometimes, when he was a double spy, giving the same reassurances of loyalty to both his masters –did he even know what side he was on for certain?"

"How dare you? He's sacrificed so much!" Hermione jumped out of her seat, tears welling in her eyes. She loved and respected Minerva so much and she couldn't believe that she would say that. "I don't doubt you've questioned his loyalties! I know exactly what I'm getting into and you… you don't know anything! I came here for help because I don't know what to do. I was happy that you were here, I thought you would understand. I'm sorry I was wrong."

"Hermione-" Minerva called as Hermione stormed out of the office.

Hermione nearly collided with Albus and looked up at him with her face hot and wet from tears. She was so angry and when he wrapped his arms around her she thought she was just hysterical from rage but then she fell into sobs. She clung to his dark blue robes and pressed her face against him. She couldn't believe she was sniveling all over him but if she let go she was afraid that she'd fall.

It felt like everything broke at that moment. The guilt for sleeping with her best friend's fiancé while she was also engaged to her friend. None of that was her. Minerva was right about that, she wasn't herself. She was acting insane but didn't feel like there was anything she could do to stop it.

Albus didn't say anything. He stroked her hair and she felt the weight of his cheek on her head. She realized at that moment that she missed her father terribly. He wouldn't hold and comfort her, that would make him uncomfortable, but he would sit up with her and try to distract her by talking about books. She wondered if she'd ever be able to get him to remember her. She pulled back and smiled apologetically at Albus.

"Am I going to be fired, headmaster?"

"I have the brightest witch of her age working two different jobs for free." Albus said. "Why in the world would I sack you?"

Hermione smiled a little and used her sleeve to wipe her eyes. "Is there any hope?"

"Hope? Yes. Of course but… I won't lie to you, dear. Ginny has already been visited by their caseworker. Anything that has passed between you and Severus has gone unnoticed by them so far but if they were to find out Severus could go to Azkaban."

Hermione's hand flew to her mouth for a moment. "That's not possible. I've done worse things and received a slap on the wrist. People don't go to Azkaban for cheating on their fiancés. They aren't even married yet!"

"If he's lucky he would be forced to live without magic amongst muggles. But Azkaban wouldn't be far off if you both push this any further."

"That's ridiculous. That wouldn't happen." Hermione knew that she didn't know that much about marriages in the wizarding world but she couldn't believe that it would be that extreme.

"It's one thing to commit adultery but it's entirely different to break a contract with the ministry –especially now, when they're trying to reestablish themselves. Severus already signed the marital contract that binds him to Ginny. Severus gained attention for his war efforts. They would not hesitate to make an example out of him. Imagine what Rita Skeeter would write about you both."

They were both quiet for a while and she didn't lift her eyes. She felt like he was waiting for her to say something.

"I love him."

Albus patted her shoulder with his hand twice and walked her to the door. "Then you'll know what to do."

Severus was waiting outside for her. He was leaning against the wall, looking handsome. She wondered how she could have had a crush on a fool like Gilderoy Lockhart when Severus was right there._ Oh yes, because he was horrible. _She smiled through her glassy eyes.

"Minerva disapproves."

"I heard." Severus said and moved away from the wall to walk with her.

"Did you hear what she said?" Hermione asked indignantly as they walked down the dimly lit halls, side by side. She felt angry. Her adrenaline was still pumping but the weight of Albus' words were itching at her, begging for attention.

"Fortunately we only heard the high pitched shrieking."

Hermione laughed. "She was pretty upset."

"I think that was you." Severus mumbled and Hermione narrowed her eyes at him but smiled.

They walked for a moment in a heavy silence and it was obvious neither of them wanted to continue this conversation.

"Severus," Hermione said. For some reason she was afraid to look at him now. She took a deep breath to say what she needed to get out but he spoke first.

"Then she told you that I would be carried away to Azkaban and your ridiculous Gryffindor heroism is forcing you to save me by pushing me away?" He drawled and then venomously added, "How incredibly moving."

"Oh hush." Hermione said rolling her eyes. "I think I've had enough dramatics tonight without you deciding to get all broody and bitter on me."

"So this is what it's like to be held accountable." He said. She looked up at him and was relieved that he was smiling. "Then my lioness has a plan?"

"Yes. Well, no. Not exactly a plan. Not yet. I'm going to go to war with the ministry. In the meantime you have to keep up appearances with Ginny-"

"Hermione-"

"You have to." Hermione turned to him and pleaded with her eyes. "And we can't be together. I don't want them to have any reason to take you away."

Severus snorted and she felt him pushing himself away. She couldn't stand it. She wanted to reach out to him but she couldn't. The sounds of their shoes echoed in the empty halls and suddenly it was deafening over what they weren't saying.

"I need you. I don't want them to take you away from me." She still didn't feel him come back to her. She took a deep breath and looked down at her shoes. "Tonight I told Albus that I loved you." Hermione admitted. She said it very quietly because she was scared to make herself so vulnerable. Was he going to think she was an idiot? They seemed beyond that. They skipped so many steps. If it hadn't been for the marriage law they would have probably carried on flirting and doing nothing. If they decided they were willing to marry one another just so they could date this shouldn't be too unacceptable. Her mind and heart were both working out of control but it all halted when he grabbed her waist and pushed her into the cold, dark stone wall. His arms around her softened the pressure between herself and the stones.

His mouth was on hers and she wanted to get lost in him. His lips, slanted over hers, taking everything, giving everything. The kiss broke but she wasn't ready to be back in reality. She kissed his throat and adam's apple while he looked up and groaned. His hands had moved to press his palms against the stones on either side of her and her arms were wrapped around his neck.

"I told him that I loved you" Severus breathed out heavily when she started sucking on the skin at the bottom of his neck, "as well."

They were kissing again. She didn't realize how badly she had needed to hear him say that. It validated all of the nights, mornings and afternoons she had spent thinking of him. Whether it was crying or fantasizing. It was all worth it. The tears and unease could be forgiven. He wanted her.

But they couldn't be together. Not now. Not yet.

"Severus." She said in a throaty voice she wasn't used to. "We have to stop."

He was kissing her neck and at first she thought he wouldn't stop. She didn't want him to. She was still holding him, breathing him in and needing him. But he kissed her neck once more, this time with soft closed lips. He took a deep breath and stood up straight.

Severus waved his hand to motion for her to move. They started walking again and she was satisfied that he wasn't hurt. She wanted him to know exactly how she felt. There was enough against them without miscommunication.

"What are you going to do about your fiancé?" Severus asked. His voice was calm and gentle.

"I'm thinking, so I may ramble." Hermione tucked some of her hair behind her ear and Severus raised an eyebrow for her to continue on now that he'd been warned. "I don't want to stay engaged because I feel like I would be preparing for failure. I don't intend on failing. It also isn't fair to ask Draco to wait while I'm actively trying to ruin your engagement. I'm going to tell him that I can't marry him –as soon as possible- so that he can find someone else before his deadline."

"If we can't stop my wedding, you'll be forced to marry whoever they pick by the end of the month." Severus said. Hermione looked up at him not knowing exactly what he was thinking. The words had come out of his mouth in a stale statement.

"I plan on stopping the wedding."

"So do I."

Severus had walked her to her door and he leaned down to kiss her but she took a step back.

"We can't be together now." He said as if he were reminding himself.

"But we will be." Hermione said looking up at him earnestly.

He nodded and she squeezed his hand before she stepped into her room.

She wasn't as predictable as he thought. She wasn't going to be a martyr. She wouldn't push him away. But all of that in mind, she wasn't going to let him be sent to Azkaban over her. They couldn't be together now but they were going to be together. She didn't care about any law that said it was wrong. She would fight for what she believed was right.

Hermione, despite feeling emotionally unstable from her fight with Minerva, also felt a twinge of excitement. It was something like panic, intrigue, fear, and adrenaline. She hadn't felt this way since the war. She was being challenged. She was fighting for something she believed in.


End file.
